Page 28 of Beautifully Reckless
Should I even say anything?
I really don’t know.
Slowly, Ringo turns to face me, and that’s when I see it.
Tears.
So many tears, falling unchecked from his broken whiskey eyes.
“My little girl was lying in the dirt next to her.” He chokes on a sob, and his words are like a punch to my chest, stealing my breath.
“She was so tiny. So blue. So…” Another heartbreaking sob lurches from him, like he has no more control. “That fucking John had been fucking Kylie while my daughter was still connected to her mother by the umbilical cord.”
Oh.
My.
God.
I can’t even begin to comprehend his words.
But I have to, because this is real.
It happened to him.
It ruined him.
A broken sobrips from my throat as I lurch forward, my arms flying up around Ringo’s neck. He meets me halfway, catching me, lifting me, crushing me into him like he’s afraid to let go.
I get it now.
I understand his reaction to seeing me pregnant.
It was a trigger. His mind dragged him back to that day. That place. That nightmare.
I feel his whole body shudder as he cries, the pain radiating off him in waves so powerful they have the ability to drown me.
Anger.
Loss.
Agony.
I fear I’ll suffocate from it, but I refuse to let it control me.
“I’m so sorry,” I cry, over and over, my hands fisting in his hair, desperate to hold him together, hoping I have the power to keep him from falling apart in an irreparable way.
Minutes pass in tangled grief, our bodies locked, our breaths ragged, our sobs mingling in the space between us.
Eventually, I feel us moving, Ringo carrying me back to the loveseat where he lowers down to get comfy, cradling me to his chest.
I never want to let him go.
The thought kind of terrifies me. I’m sure I used to think the same about Daniel once, and not for the first time, I worry that perhaps I’m someone that falls too hard, too fast, and is too naive to see the red flags until it’s too late.
But I know Ringo’s red flags. He wears his flaws proudly, and here tonight, he’s laid his biggest wound out for me.
Maybe I should stop overthinking and just be in the moment.
