Page 39 of Himbo Hitman
He tries to move his arm, and when that doesn’t work, he shakes his head instead. “Comforting that they missed. It’s good to know I’m not the only one who does that.”
“Th-that’s what you’re thinking about right now?”
“Well, I’m handcuffed to a chair. I’ve gotta find my silver linings somewhere.”
“Most people would be worried.”
He thinks that over for a second. “Yeah, sure, I can see it. But really, what does being worried accomplish? As of right now, we’re safe. It’s all good. Whatever comes next will happen whether we worry about it or not.”
“There’s nowe,” I point out on reflex, but I’m struggling to hold on to being annoyed with him. Which is ridiculous because if you can’t be annoyed with the guy who tried to kill you, who can you be annoyed with? When Colin kissed my ex-girlfriend behind my back in high school, I held on to my grudge longer than that. I mean, we broke up because I’m gay, but still. Not cool.
On a scale of least to most fucked-up in life, shooting off my ear should definitely rank higher than that.
Perry gives me a sympathetic smile. “You’re still thinking about it, aren’t you?”
“About what?”
“You know the …” He tugs his arm again, like he’s somehow forgottenagainthat he’s handcuffed. “Pew pew.”
“Pew pew?”
“Don’t make me say it.”
“Oh. Sothat’syour line, is it? Not doing it, but saying it.”
“It’s possible I may have some regrets.”
Instead of the anger I’m expecting at that, a secret little part of me is relieved. “Some, huh?”
“Well, let’s face it. If my aim had been a smidge to the left, none of this would be happening right now.”
My eyes almost fall out of my skull. “Wait.” I have to remind myself not to laugh because this whole fucking thing is so absurd I think my brain is done. “Your regret is that youdidn’tkill me? Not that you tried to?”
“It’s a natural feeling. Nothing personal, of course.”
“Right. Because how could I possibly take that personally?”
“Notyoutaking it personally. It wasn’t personal,to me. I have nothing against you. When I said you were my favorite customer, I wasn’t lying. You’re a, umm, cool guy.”
Something about the way he fumbles over that gets my attention. Am I pissed? I should be. Hejust saidhe wishes I was dead right now, but apparently, I’m dumber than he is because the feeling is nowhere to be found. Instead, a smirk crosses my face. “A cool guy with a pretty mouth?”
“I-I panicked.”
“Like you did with dood gay?”
The way he squirms in his seat shouldn’t be so appealing. “I get flustered easily,” he says, voice squeaking that bit higher than usual.
“Flustered?”
“My mouth is stupid. A big idiot. Don’t trust a word that comes out of it.”
“Like our pinky swear?”
He hurries to shake his head. “No, no, that was sacred.”
“But Idon’thave a pretty mouth?”
For the first time since he got here, Perry looks torn and uncertain. If I’d known it was this easy to knock him out of that chillpersona, I probably would have teased him sooner. “I dunno, man. They’re … very … umm … pink.”
