Page 81 of Brutal Sin
Chapter Seventeen
Bryan staredat the mess once known as the work office. He’d lost his mind. Momentarily. Now the remnants of their once tidy work space lay scattered across the floor in a mangled heap that mimicked hislife.
All because of a death notice.
A death notice he couldn’t fuckingfind.
“It has to be here somewhere.” The new envelope was missing. The one he’d written on. Those six letters to name the person who left his life long ago, but shaped every decision he’d ever made. She was the reason he’d never had a relationship. She’d created his paranoia over love and commitment, and molded him into the man who refused to let down his guard.
All for what? Stubborn pride? Superiority? To continue a fight with his parents, when the assholes didn’t even know they were still atwar?
They never gave a shit about the years he’d spent distancing himself from others in retaliation to what they’d put him through. They didn’t care enough to pay attention.
The ongoing barrage of reminders made him want to tear apart the office all over again. He wanted to destroy everything. Most of all, his mother. But evidently, she was already dead, and probably looking up from hell with just as much disdain for him as she alwayshad.
“It’s not in here, man. Maybe Shay or Cassie thought it was rubbish.” Leo kicked at a splayed book on the floor. “What was in the envelope, anyway?”
He huffed out a breath. “Nothing.” He wouldn’t check the bin for a third time when the first two attempts came up empty.
“You lost your shit looking for an envelope with nothing in it?” T.J. shot a glance at Leo, the two of them sharing a silent communication.
“Yeah, I guess I did.” He strode for the door, still incapable of revealing the bullshit clogging his veins. He couldn’t talk about it. He didn’t even understand it. “I’ve gotta get out of here. I’ll clean this mess up later.”
They didn’t stop him. Didn’t say a word. Their kid gloves were well and truly in place, with neither of them willing to give him the verbal beatdown he deserved for destroying their space. Shay and Cassie hadn’t chastised him when they’d walked in on his meltdown, either.
He fled down the hall, then took the stairs to Shot of Sin two at a time. He should’ve run. Instead, he decided to hide. He practically jogged across the empty dance floor, unlocked the Vault door, and descended the next staircase in darkness.
He didn’t bother with the lights. He hoped he’d fall. A few broken bones and a heavy sedative seemed preferable to the punishing void consuminghim.
His mother was dead, and the web-thin ties connecting him to the rest of his family had been severed. The news should’ve brought delirious joy. Somehow, it didn’t. Now, there was another layer to his lack of worth. Another brick to add to the wall aroundhim.
He reached the bottom of the stairs intact and slammed his way through the next pin-code door until he reached the newbie lounge. After a slap against the light switch, he continued into the main room, then straight behind thebar.
Instinct had him reaching for a bottle of scotch, dragging the soothing liquid to stand on the counter in front of him. He stared at the alcohol, his body begging for a taste, his mind pleading for the escapism.
He wouldn’t be defeated.
This time, he’d savor the new invisible scars his parents had inflicted on him with pure lucidity. He’d relish the pain. He’d make the torment solidify his strength and wash away the momentary lapse when he’d stupidly decided to give a fuck about someone.
He became infatuated with the bottle, entranced by the possible solace for minutes. Maybe hours. Then the main entrance door squeaked and he closed his eyes, not wanting to face whoever came to break his solitude.
“I thought I’d find you downhere.”
Cassie.
Out of all the people to disturb him, it had to beher.
They should’ve sent Shay. He’d have no hesitation in giving Leo’s girlfriend a piece of his mind. But Cassie was different. She was soft. Kind. A fucking burst of unwanted sunshine.
He opened his eyes and visually defiled the scotch. “This is the only time I’m allowed down here, remember?”
“I was under the impression the hiatus was your choice.”
“My choice?” Maybe it was. If only he hadn’t pissed off the women of the Vault in the first place. If only he’d sent one of the security team after Ella that night in the parking lot instead of indulging his unprecedented interest in someone of the oppositesex.
“I thought you were hiding from something,” Cassie hedged. “Or someone.”
He squeezed the neck of the bottle, not appreciating her accuracy.
