Page 79 of Brutal Sin
“Then give it back to him. Or rip it up. Either way, I don’t want it either.” She continued onto the sidewalk. “It was nice seeing you.” Cassie gave a gentle finger-wave, then walked out of view, leaving numbness in herwake.
There was no point running after her. There was no strength or energy.
“Goddamn it.” Instead, she pulled the cafe doors shut and flicked over the closedsign.
“You’re thinking about going to see him, aren’t you?” Kim spoke from the kitchen.
“I can’t help it.” She rested her head against the glass. “If he’s going through something…”
“What?” The swinging kitchen doors whooshed open. “What are you going to do forhim?”
“I don’t know.” She turned and dragged her feet back to the coffee machine. “What if Cassie’s right? What if he needsme?”
“Pamela.” Her name was a placation.
“I know. I know.” She pulled the basket toward her and peeked inside. “You think I’m doing the same thing I did with Lucas.”
Kim approached, meeting her gaze from the other side of the counter. “Aren’tyou?”
“It’s different.”
“How?”
The one-word question required a far bigger answer. One she wasn’t sure she could convey with conviction when everything was uncertain.
“Pamela? Explain it to me. Make me understand why you’re doing this to yourself again.”
“Because this time it was real,” she admitted. “With Bryan, it wasn’t just about hoping for more. I could actually feel it. I could’ve sworn he felt the sameway.”
She placed the envelope back in the basket.
“You were wrong before. You thought the same about Lucas.”
“No. I expected the same from Lucas. But I never felt it, and he never once showed it. I stupidly thought he owed me his affection after everything I did for him. I became infatuated with the thought of us being in love. I know thatnow.”
“And maybe in a few years’ time, you’ll have the hindsight to explain this situation, too.”
Pamela cringed. She didn’t want to think about Bryan for years. Not if she couldn’t be withhim.
“I want you to be happy.” Kim gave a half-hearted smile. “After everything you’ve been through, you deserve someone who adoresyou.”
“Then what should Ido?”
“We should upgrade your standard pity party into something sponsored by your sexy club. Look.” She pulled out one of the bottles from the basket. “We’ve got vodka.”
“Andwine.”
“Two bottles.” Kim waggled her brows. “And your light ass wouldn’t even need one.” She continued looking through the basket, her fingers pausing on the envelope. “Do you mind if I take a look? I’ve always wanted to know how much you pay to getlaid.”
Pamela rolled her eyes. “Go for it.” She was curious to find out the monetary value herself. What price had he placed on her broken heart? Had he refunded her membership for the exact number of months she wouldn’t attend? Or would he add more insult to her emotional injuries by giving her added compensation?
Kim carefully opened the back and pulled out a slip of paper, the piece no bigger than a business card. “Are you sure there’s supposed to be a refund inhere?”
“That’s what Cassie said.” She pressed onto the tips of her toes, trying to catch a glimpse of the contents.
“Well, this definitely isn’t a check.” Kim placed the paper back inside the envelope and handed it over. “Take alook.”
It was a standard size, nothing special, apart from her full first name scribbled on the front. There was no nickname this time. And there was no check inside, either. Not evencash.
