Page 107 of The Equation of Us
She nods, and some of the tension leaves her shoulders. “I’ve been dating someone,” she says, changing the subject. “For real this time. A grad student in my marketing seminar. He’s… nice. Uncomplicated, but not in the way James was.”
“I’m glad,” I say, meaning it.
“And he doesn’t bolt at the first sign of trouble, which is apparently my new bar for relationship material.” She attempts a smile that doesn’t quite reach her eyes. “How is Dean?”
The question catches me off guard. “I don’t know,” I admit. “We broke up. The night you reported me.”
Surprise crosses her face. “What? Why?”
“Because I was scared. Because I thought my career was over. Because I felt like I had to choose.”
“And you chose your career.” Not a question. She knows me too well.
“I thought I had to.”
Daphne studies me for a moment. “And now?”
“Now I don’t know.” I twist my hands in my lap. “I hurt him, Daph. Badly. I’m not sure there’s any coming back from that.”
“Did he say that? That he didn’t want to try again?”
I shake my head. “The opposite, actually. He texted me after and said his door was always open. But that was two weeks ago.”
“Dean Carter doesn’t say things he doesn’t mean,” Daphne says, a hint of her old confidence returning. “Trust me, I would know.”
“It’s not that simple.”
“Isn’t it?” She leans forward. “Look, I’m not saying I’m thrilled about the two of you. It’s still weird, and it still hurts. But I’ve had time to think about it, and… you two make sense.”
I blink, caught off guard. “What?”
“You and Dean. You’re the same kind of person. Intense. Driven. Always in your head.” She shrugs. “I used to complain about how he was too much. How he wanted more than I couldgive. But I think maybe he just needed someone who wanted the same things.”
“Like me,” I whisper.
“Like you,” she agrees. “And for what it’s worth, he was miserable after we broke up. But not like this. Not the way he looked when I saw him yesterday.”
My head snaps up. “You saw him?”
“At the library. He looked like hell, Nora. Like someone had taken all the light out of him.” She stands, gathering her purse. “I’m not saying you should get back together for my sake. God knows that would still be awkward for a while. But don’t stay apart because of me either.”
I rise as well, unsure what to say. “Thank you. For going back to the committee. For coming here. For… everything.”
“Don’t thank me. Just…” She hesitates. “Be happy, okay? Life’s too short for anything else.”
She moves toward the door, then pauses. “And Nora? Next time you start sleeping with someone I dated, just tell me, okay?”
A startled laugh escapes me. “Deal.”
After she leaves, I sink back onto my bed, mind racing. My application is still active. Daphne doesn’t hate me. And Dean…
Dean is miserable. Just like I am.
I reach for my phone before I can overthink it. His contact is still there, unchanged. My thumb hovers over his name, hesitating.
What would I even say? Sorry I broke your heart. Want to try again?
I set the phone down, hugging my knees to my chest. The wound is still too fresh, the words too difficult to find. But for the first time in two weeks, I feel something other than despair.
