Page 100 of The Equation of Us
“Who else?” I wrap my arms around myself again. “I have a meeting tomorrow morning with Wexler, the department chair, and someone from the Office of Academic Integrity.”
He’s quiet for a moment, processing. Then, “I’ll go with you.”
“No.” The word comes out sharper than I intended. “That would just confirm everything.”
“Nora, they need to hear my side too. This involves both of us.”
“They haven’t called you in yet,” I point out. “Which means the complaint is specifically about me. My conduct. My violation of the tutoring code of ethics.”
His jaw tightens. “That’s bullshit. I’m not some helpless student you took advantage of.”
“Doesn’t matter. I was in the position of authority. I’m the one who will face consequences.”
Dean moves closer, reaching for me. I step back, maintaining distance.
“What consequences?” he asks quietly.
I laugh, a hollow sound devoid of humor. “Best case? Removal from the peer tutoring program. Worst case? Academic probation, loss of my research position with Wexler, and…” I can’t even say it.
“And the Archer nomination,” he finishes for me, understanding dawning in his eyes.
I nod, a fresh wave of tears threatening. “It’s over, Dean. Everything I’ve worked for. Gone because I couldn’t keep my hands off you.”
“Hey.” His voice hardens. “Don’t do that. Don’t reduce what we have to something cheap.”
“What else would you call it?” I snap, anger flaring bright and hot. “I risked my entire academic career for—what? Sex? The thrill of sneaking around?”
“For us,” he says firmly. “For what we’ve built together.”
“And look where that’s gotten me.”
He flinches like I’ve struck him. “So what are you saying? You regret it? All of it?”
The question hangs in the air between us, heavy with implications. Do I regret it? The late nights in his bed, the studysessions that turned into more, the way he makes me feel seen and understood andwantedin a way no one else ever has?
“I don’t know,” I admit, my voice breaking. “I just know I can’t do this anymore.”
Understanding crosses his face, followed quickly by something that looks like panic. “Nora, don’t. Not like this. Not when you’re upset.”
“I’m not just upset, Dean. I’m facing a misconduct hearing that could derail my entire future.” I wrap my arms tighter around myself. “And being with you is what caused it.”
“Being with me in secret caused it,” he corrects. “If we’d been honest from the beginning—”
“If we’d been honest from the beginning, I would have lost Daphne’s friendship anyway, and we’d still be in this position professionally.” I shake my head. “There was never a scenario where this worked out well for me.”
“For you,” he repeats, something hardening in his expression. “Just you. Not us.”
“There is no ‘us’ after tomorrow,” I say, the words cutting my throat like glass. “Whatever the outcome of that meeting, I can’t—we can’t—”
“You’re breaking up with me.” It’s not a question.
I nod, unable to speak past the knot in my throat.
“Because of what might happen tomorrow?” he asks. “Or because you’re scared of what already has?”
“Does it matter?”
“Yes.” His voice drops, intensity building behind it. “It matters to me if you’re ending this because of external pressure or because you genuinely don’t want to be with me anymore.”
