Page 34 of Off Side
SAM
I’m packing for the road trip. I will be gone for three nights as we travel to play two games in towns seven hours away from us. Most other towns we travel to for games are within four hours which means it’s usually a night bus ride home right after the game and no hotels.
We make these farther trips four times a year and it just so happens the first one was right at the start of the season. I’m still unsettled knowing I will be seeing Jason, but I’m doing my best to fake it and I hope Drew lets it go. I know he wants to be there to protect me and be his usual self, but I have to do this on my own. It’s the biggest issue of my life that I have not dealt with and to honour my grandfathers request I need to face it.
I zip up my small suitcase and make sure my iPad is charged. I make my way downstairs to find Drew reading in the living room. God, he’s sexy with his reading glasses on. I clench my thighs together and the movement doesn’t go unnoticed. He places his book down but leaves his glasses on as I walk; no, I sashay over there like a cat in heat. I run my hand through his hair and he closes his eyes leaning into my touch. Reaching out, he drags me onto his lap suddenly, making me squeak in surprise. A long hot kiss follows with his hands roaming everywhere. He buries his face into my neck.
“I’m going to miss you,” he says while squeezing me tight against him.
“I’m going to miss you, too. I’ll call you every night after the game and I’ll be back before you know it.” I gently push to stand up but he holds me tighter.
“Drew, I’m going to be late if you don’t let me go. I have to meet the bus at 2 P.M.”
He releases me go reluctantly, looking like I just informed him his favourite horse died. My eyes brim with tears. It’s only a few nights for my job. He shouldn’t be this emotional over it. What’s going on? Standing, he takes my hand and suitcase, walking me to the door.
“I feel like there’s something big going on with you and there’s a huge valley between us with you not telling me something. I have a sense of dread I can’t shake, Sam. It’s hard to explain, but I’m having a hard time letting you go. It feels like you won’t come back.” His voice breaks at the end and so does my heart. I fucking hate keeping this from him and I hate he thinks we might be over because of it.
“Hey, you’re my mountain man. My protector, my biggest supporter. I’m coming back. I could never walk away from you. I’m sorry you feel like I’m shutting you out, but I’m not. I just need time to work through this in my head and I’ll share it with you when I’m comfortable. You need to let me handle it my way. Please.”
He cups my cheek tenderly with his giant hand and I can feel the calluses from all his hard work. He gives me a lopsided smile. “Okay, beautiful. I will. Call me or text me whenever you want to. I will be here for you. Anytime.” He gives me another kiss. “Now, get out of here before I change my mind and go all caveman on you and insist I make the road trip, too.”
Taking my bag, I laugh as I walk out the door. When I’m finally enroute to the rink to meet the charter, I can’t help feeling Drew is definitely on the same page with me because I’m feeling a sense of dread too.
