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“I’ll do it, on one condition.”
Relief floods her face. “Really? I’ll do it. Anything. I need you to do this for me.”
I bite back my grin. “I’ll do it if I get to share your bed every night. Your actual bed and not just sex in random rooms around the house.”
Her face falls with open shock. “You said I didn’t need to do any sexual favours for you! You would do anything if I asked. Is this you asking for sexual favours, or you won’t do it?” Eyes full of fire, she prepares for a fight but I can’t stop myself from laughing.
I gather her into a hug and release her enough so I can gaze straight into her dark brown eyes. “Sam, of course I will do it for you. You’re making the bigger of sacrifices between us. I was just being an asshole to yank your chain.” I softened my voice, “But I do want to spend every night with you. I’m tired of us pretending to be friends with some weird living arrangement. I want you, whenever I can and I’d love nothing better than to be part of your dreams every night. I want you to be mine.”
She smiles. “So, are you asking me to go steady or something here? I’m a bit lost. You might have to spell it out.”
“With pleasure.” I punctuate each word with a kiss on her lips. “Be. My. Girl. Is that spelled out enough for you?”
She puts her finger to her lips, tapping it to appear as if she’s thinking. “Hmm, I don’t know. I get a super hot guy in my bed every night that wants to call me his. He cooks like a chef. He loves hockey and he’s willing to put up with my bunny slippers and crazed pet donkey. How can I possibly say no?”
I give a shout in celebration, crushing her with a hug.
“Alright, woman of mine, let’s eat and talk more of this plan of yours before I change my mind.” I slap her on the ass, walking away laughing.
I could face my fears. As long as I have Sam, I can take on the world.
SAM
I’m positive the blowjob at the door made Drew receive my news more easily. I mean, how could it not? His eased back demeanor as he listens to my plan is a pleasant change. He seems genuinely interested. The dread he’s been hanging on to preventing him from being involved with a game he once loved seems to be lifting.
He leans back in his chair, wiping his mouth with a napkin. His lasagna is fucking epic. I think I’m seriously in love with this man due to his cooking skills, the rest of the package is pure bonus.
“Let me understand and make sure I have this straight,” he says.
“You want me to run some skill drills of my choosing before every practice. You then want me to stay on the ice and stick my nose in with Nix and Mike during their sessions on ice, if it’s warranted.”
“Yes, that’s pretty much it in a nutshell, I guess.”
“Sam, Nix might be okay with me doing that, but Mike is not going to like me sticking my nose into his stuff. It would look terrible on me to do it and undermine their coaching authority, don’t you think?”
I nod in agreement. “Yes, to a point, but I also think having you there will be an extra bonus for these guys. Nix and Mike never played at the high level you did. You were once where they are now. I think your input and presence would be invaluable to them, on and off the ice really. Instead of looking like you’re undermining them, it would be more of an enhancement.”
He appears to consider this and breathes a big sigh. “I see what you’re saying, but a lot has changed in the game and the culture since then, I’m not sure what I could impart on them that they don’t already know.”
I snag yet another piece of garlic bread. He smirks, knowing these carbs are my weakness.
“Drew, you grew mentally from what you went through. It took time, but that growth can translate to knowledge to pass on to them. How to cope with stress or injury or expectations. You have your therapy background and your hockey experiences to draw on. You would be good for them, I know it. Look what you’ve already done for me.” I stuff the bread in my mouth, shrugging my shoulder like it should be obvious how much he’s done for me. He’s quiet for a long time.
When I glance up, I find him examining me with eyes so intense he can read the tag inside the back of my shirt. It makes me uncomfortable, but at the same time…I like it.
“What exactly have I done for you, Sam?”
“You don’t know, do you?”
“That’s why I’m asking. Other than feed you and make sure you don’t get hurt riding your donkey when you get high, what have I done to help you? I want to know.”
I’m amazed he truly seems clueless. I reach across the table, motioning to give me his hand. He places his giant paw in my tiny hand and I interlink our fingers. I watch his face as I describe everything, he’s done for me.
“While those things are true, there’s so much more. You have been there not judging me for my past when everyone else has. You’ve made me realize I was a victim, but I’m also strong enough to shake that victim label and be victorious. You have known exactly what to do when I have panic attacks. You’ve showed me you cared by going above and beyond what anyone else would do. You make me feel special because of who I am and not what I have done. You took care of grandpa for god’s sake. By doing all these things, you have made me realize I can do what I once thought was impossible. You give me hope.”
Tears have pricked my eyes now as I give his hand a squeeze. I’ve just filleted my soul, presenting it to this man and his expression is angry, like he wants to punch a wall. Shit. I hope this wasn’t a mistake. Maybe I misread where his mind is at after all. I move to pull my hand away but he grips it harder. His face softens now as his gaze meets mine.
He starts to speak and his voice is raw with emotion. “Sam, my whole life until I left hockey was full of lies and ill-considered choices. My parents let me down or lied. Hockey ended up letting me down, my body failed. My own dad fucking bailed on me when I dared to not listen to him. Nothing in my life was a beacon of truth or hope. Then I met Tom and came to know this place and I started to believe my life could be better because one kind person stepped in and to tell me they believed in me. I discovered the horses and the pure way animals don’t judge anyone and love unconditionally. It’s been a long road to get to where I am now and I know I’ve made progress. But no one has ever told me I give them hope.” He inhales a stuttering breath. “If it’s hope I give you, then it’s strength you give me.”
I move around the table, letting him take me in his arms and we hold each other. Two broken people coming together to help build each other up.
