Page 36 of Get Me to the Starting Line
“I know.”
“I’m sorry, you don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” She seems genuine in her offer, if not a little disappointed. I do want to, though, surprisingly enough.
“Not because I didn’t havemymom, because I didn’t haveamom.”
Her brow furrows and I can practically see the wheels turning in her head as she thinks over my words.
“So no mom was better than your mom?” she asks hesitantly. So that’s what she’s getting at. I don’t know anything about her son’s father, but by the way her question is phrased, he must still be alive. Which means he’s scum, and she and her son deserve better.
“Yes.”
Thankfully, we’ve reached my truck and we both let the conversation drop.
Leah stops, craning her neck as if gauging the distance from the ground to the door, assessing how she’s going to get up there. I didn’t think it through either. I’m going to have to help her.
She doesn’t look at me when she speaks, still eyeing my truck dubiously. “I’ll go with you on one condition.”
I know better than to agree without hearing it.
“What?”
“You don’t speak to me on the whole drive.”
“Deal.” Easiest answer ever. Silence is where I’m comfortable.
“Deal,”Julienanswersrightaway.
Honestly, it doesn’t surprise me. He seems more comfortable with silence than talking anyway.
With that settled, I brace myself for the most embarrassing attempt to enter a vehicle of my life and open the door. I’m about to throw caution to the wind and jump when a warm hand clasps mine, and then a solid wall of warmth buzzes with energy beside me.
Woah.
I can’t think about my body’s reaction right now, the way my whole body is on fire even though the night is cool. Breathing in through my nose does no good because I’m assaulted by his scent. It surprises me like it did when he sat beside me in the restaurant—light, with a bit of a sweetness. And I’m pretty sure he’s not wearing anything. That’s just how he smells.
I try to focus on how I’m going to kick my sister’s ass for leaving me in this position and accept Julien’s help to get into his truck.
My foot reaches the step, and I brace my weight against Julien as he helps me up. His strong hand in mine isso distracting that I wobble, and his other hand comes to brace my lower back. I linger a little longer than necessary, but as soon as I’m up, Julien’s hands are gone and so is the warmth at my side.
His door opens and then the reality of the situation settles over me.
The silence isloud.
When was the last time I was anywhere this quiet? With Levi at home, there’s always some sort of chaos going on. Even when he’s asleep, there’s always the anticipation of him waking. Plus, the white noise of the city filters in for a calming background buzz.
When I’m at work, the lab is always bustling with people—machines whirring, people talking, computers clacking. And in the classroom, when I’m not talking, my students are.
But it’s as if all the sound vanishes as soon as our doors shut. I can’t even hear him breathing. AmIeven breathing?
“If y-you’re uncomfortable, I can g-get you an Uber. I know a few safe drivers.” His voice is so quiet, like he’s scared to startle me. Every time he trips over his words, my heart skips a beat. I can tell it bothers him, but it makes me think of Levi.
He does startle me, but not by speaking. With his words. I realize the truth is not in those words. I’m not uncomfortable because of him. More like ... because he’s him? Ugh, that doesn’t make sense.
“I’m okay, let’s go,” I assure him.
From my periphery, I see his head turn towards me, but I don’t turn to meet his gaze.
“You sure? Ican—”
