Page 109 of Get Me to the Starting Line
“Are you sure you don’t want me to run with you and Julien?” I don’t know if I love or hate her assuming he and I are running together. I mean, I’m also assuming because it’s not like we’ve talked about it.
I shake my head. “No, you have to beat Adam.”
Her eyes narrow. “I cannot believe he faked an injury to beat me in New York. Such a cheater.” She shakes her head and looks back at me in the mirror. “Are you sure? I don’t mind at all. I still won Moab, so in my book I’m always going to be the winner.”
“Yes, I’m sure. I don’t think I’d be able to enjoy it. I’d be worried about ruining your race.”
She sighs, exasperated with me. But she doesn’t argue. We’ve had this conversation a few times before, and every time she insists it would be fun to run together, I shut her down. Maybe one day, but not yet. I need to do this one alone. Or at least, as alone as I can be with Julien beside me.
“Have I ever told you about my first half marathon?” she asks, batting my hands away to finish my braids herself. If I was uncomfortable before, this is downright unpleasant.
She shouldn’t be taking care of me.
I let her anyway.
“No, I don’t think so.” I wrack my brain, but Paige has been running for so long, it’s hard to keep track.
“I didn’t tell you I was doing it,” she says sheepishly.
“What?” I try to turn but wince as my hair snags, forcing me to face forward.
Paige nods, a small smile on her lips. “I was eighteen, and you were away for the weekend for the first time.”
Thinking back, I still feel guilty, as sick to my stomach as I feel right now. Even though Mom was close by and could stop by if Paige needed anything, I hated thinking I wouldn’t be there for her if something happened. Especially because when I got home, I discovered Paige had been sick. She barely left her bed for two days after. I should’ve been there.
“You left the car for emergencies but told me under no circumstance was I allowed to do anything crazy.” She laughs, her eyes far away.
I join her in the memory, realizing I may have been a little unbearably protective of her over the years.
The biggest risk I took was kicking her out of our house and sending her off to Vancouver. Best decision I ever made, even though it tore me up inside.
“As soon as you left, I immediately started searching for something crazy to do. With you and Mom always breathing down my neck, it was my first chance to be a little reckless. So I searched for a half marathon on the Friday and found a race happening on Sunday.
“I couldn’t sign up because they don’t let you register that late, but I grabbed my shoes and went anyway, hoping they’d allow for a morning-of sign up. They did, and before I knew it, I was at the starting line.”
“WHAT?”
Paige grimaces at my outburst. Now that I know what it takes to train for a half marathon, I cannot believe she would be that reckless. Actually, scratch that. I can one hundred percent believe it. I could never imagine myself doing that.
“I couldn’t believe it. All the nerves caught up with me, and mixed with the adrenaline, it was too much. I barely made it to the bushes before throwing up. But I was determined to do it. I want to say it was the biggest mistake of my life, but we both know that’s not true.”
We laugh at her reference to her putting Adam’s number in her phone wrong, leading to a two-year delay in their relationship.
“It was the worst race of my life. I was shaking and weak by the end of it because I was way overconfident my sprinting abilitieswould transfer. They did not. I was such an idiot. I flew through the first 5k and then crashed and burned the rest of the race. I practically crawled over the finish line. The medics on standby rushed to me as I stumbled through, collapsing as I finished. It took me three hours.”
I blink rapidly, in shock. She never told me this. And my elite athlete sister running a slow half marathon? I never would have guessed. She must see my thoughts plainly on my face because she laughs.
“That’s why I’m so obsessed with fuelling and training properly. I never want to feel that way after a race again, not when I can prevent it. You came home and found me in bed, with a fever. My body was in shock.”
“I remember.” I can’t help it—my eyebrows raise to chide her slightly.
“Oh, put your sassy eyebrows down.” The corners of her eyes crinkle as she smiles and finishes up the second braid. Her hands fall gently on my shoulders, comforting me.
“You, my favourite big sister, are not an idiot or irresponsibly reckless. You’ve trained and prepared for this. Your body is ready and knows what to do. Your mind is the thing holding you back.”
She gives me another squeeze and then leaves me to get ready herself. I nibble on the peanut butter bread, her story blanketing my nerves, giving me something to think about.
Julien’s words float to the surface.
