Page 15 of We Live Here Now
“You guys are okay though, right?” We turn our backs to the front door and take a couple of steps from the house. “Is this what all the ‘people change’ stuff was about last night?”
“I don’t know.” He stares out over the moors but isn’t really looking at them as he pushes his glasses up on his nose. “I’m irritating her, I think. She’s definitely irritating me.”
“Everyone irritates their partners. Look at Iso and Mark. Always fighting but they adore each other. That’s marriage.”
“I used to love that she was religious. Weird, I know, because I can’t buy into it, but I loved that she had that level of ability to have faith. Now I find it’s her excuse to be holier-than-thou. I guess familiarity breeds contempt.”
“Maybe that’s where being forgiving comes in. Nobody’s perfect, whatever illusion they create at the start.”
“You and Freddie are always happy.”
“No one’s always happy.” I stare at the ground as a gust of chilly wind whips around us. “And there are plenty of things about Freddie I used to find charming but now just annoy the shit out of me so much I could happily strangle him. But marriage is teamwork, and so I ignore them. And you and Cat are a great team.” I squeeze his arm. “And you will be fine.”
“Yeah.” He stands taller and grins at me. “Thanks. Oh, and well done on the Ouija board last night. You and Iso made it seem so real. Totally creeped us all out. You planned it, right? ThatFind itover and over. Inspired. Find what?”
“I don’t know.” It’s my turn to look over the moors so he can’t see my discomfort. There’s no point in denying it again because he won’t believe me, so I lie. “Just came to me.” My unease is back. We hadn’t planned it. And if it wasn’t Iso, why would I have moved the planchette to spell that? Such a random thing to say and yet so urgent. “I’ll stay up later next time you visit,” I say to change the subject. “I was so knackered.”
“You didn’t miss anything. The rest of us weren’t long after you.”
“Oh, I thought you’d carried on for a while.” I’m slightly confused. Freddie wasn’t in bed until late, and if the two people I heard weren’t on their way to bed, then who was talking so quietly on the landing? Bumped into each other going to the bathroom maybe?
When they’ve piled into their cars and left us alone in the quiet of the countryside, I go up to bed for an hour and find that Iso has left a beautiful Moleskine notebook by the bed with a note.I thought you’d maybe like to diarize your new life! You always kept one at uni!It gives me a rush of joy as I relish the feel of the expensive paper inside. There’s a pen there too—a Montblanc—and the thoughtfulness of it gives me a rush of sudden warmth toward her. I open it to the back and write in small, careful letters,Find it, before putting it in my bedside drawer and lying down on the soft mattress.
20
Emily
It’s boiling in the house when I wake up, the day already darkening into afternoon. I’ve been asleep for hours. My mouth is dry and I’m disoriented as I come down the stairs. The thermostat is up at twenty-six. No wonder it’s like a sauna in here. I can hear football on so I head to the sitting room.
“Jesus, Freddie, you’re going to burn if you’re not careful.” Freddie’s so close to the fire that his hands are almost in it. “And it’s boiling in here.”
“There was a draft.” He doesn’t look at me, still leaning so far forward he’s blocking the fire with his torso.
“You came to bed late last night.” Maybe it was him I heard on the landing. “Who stayed up with you?”
“No one.” He’s irritated. I can hear it in his voice. “In fact, I went upstairs but you’d opened that hall window again and it was freezing. So I came down and stoked the fire to warm up.” He looks at me now and I see something in his expression I’ve never seen before. A slightdarkness.As if he’s holding back a deep rage. It unsettles me. Freddie’s never looked at me like that before. Does he know? Or suspect?
“Why do you keep doing that? You know how cold this house gets.”
“I don’t keep doing that,” I protest. “I didn’t open it the first time and I didn’t open it last night. I went straight to sleep. It must have been one of the others.”
There’s a long pause before he finally speaks. “I guess it must have been.”
He leans back and my eyes widen as I see what’s burning.
It’s the Ouija board.
“That’s mine.” I stare at him, astounded that he’d have the audacity to destroy it. “You can’t burn it.” I watch theYesbeing consumed by the crackling flames and it suddenly feels like a bad omen.
Were you murdered in this house?
“I should have thrown it away before we moved. It’s a stupid thing. And it’s not good for you.”
“It’s just a game.”
“I know you, Em. Youbelievedit. Even though everyone else was sure it was Iso moving the planchette.”
“I was caught up in the moment.” My face burns red with both denial and the truth of his words. Ididbelieve it. Maybe I still do a little. “It was creepy. That’s all. But I know you’re right. She must have been doing it.”
