Page 57 of Nora Goes Off Script
“There you are,” says Naomi, coming out of a stall. “You must feel like a million bucks.”
“It does feel pretty good, I have to say. I never saw it coming.”
“Well, it was a powerful story, I think you helped a lot of women by telling it.” She’s reapplying her lipstick, which seems like a normal thing to do, so I pull out mine.
“Thanks.” That’s all I should say, but I’m a little cracked open after seeing so much of Leo tonight. I’m raw all over again, and I just want to hear all the facts so I can reseal my heart. “So what do you and Leo do now? Stay in L.A.?”
“I think Leo’s headed back to New York, but I’m not sure. I’m going to France. I’m going to take a full month off to read and eat delicious things.”
My envy is profound, but this whole scenario sounds like it would be better with Leo. “He didn’t want to come?”
“Who?”
“Leo.”
She laughs. “Leo and I wouldn’t even share a coffee together, let alone a month’s getaway. Neither of us would survive.” She’s dusting her face with powder and stops. “Nora. You don’t think Leo and I are a thing? Tell me you don’t.”
“Aren’t you?”
“That’s movie promotion. If people are gossiping about us, the movie gets mentioned. That’s pretty much Hollywood 101.”
“Oh.” I feel like someone who just wandered off the Kansas cornfields onto Hollywood Boulevard. “But you were together before, right?”
“Like for a minute. But it was nothing. Look, Leo’s super attractive, but we literally have nothing to talk about. It got old fast.”
We had everything to talk about, I want to say. How is that possible? He’s got nothing to say to her but can talk to me for twenty hours a day and pick up in the morning where he left off. My heart is not adequately shut, and I am starting to feel sick. That one thought, that we had so much to talk about, wants to drag me back to the belief that we had something, that he was something meant for me.
She’s saying good-bye. She’s hugging me. When I’m alone in the bathroom staring at my only slightly too-made-up reflection, I realize that I am newly hurt. His not being with Naomi is a fresh wound. His leaving me to go back to her obeys all the laws of nature. Any man would have done the same. But his leaving me just to be not with me aches all over again.
I find Martin mildly drunk at a little table talking to another gorgeous young woman. He motions for me to sit on his other side. “Come, there’s room for both of you.” Oh, brother.
“So Leo and Naomi aren’t together?” I hear myself say.
“Shhhhhh. We’re still marketing this thing. Shhhhhh,” he says with Elmer Fudd eyes, glancing left, then right.
I need some air and maybe a cracker. A waiter passes with a tray of stuffed mushrooms and I put four on a napkin. I make my way to a terrace off the main room where people are still milling around but where there’s room to breathe. I take a seat on the side of a fountain and dig in to my snack.
My parents have gone back to their hotel and they took Oscar with them, so I don’t need to worry about the three of them. I guess I can leave anytime I want to. I need to unpack my feelings and then repack them more securely. But the air feels nice, crisp for Los Angeles I guess, and I am in the middle of my big moment. I wrote a movie and won an Oscar. I’m wearing this beautiful dress, and once I take it off, I don’t know when I’ll ever wear it again. I just want to sit and enjoy it a little longer.
“You okay?” It’s Leo.
My mouth is full of mushrooms, so I cover it with my dirty napkin and mumble, “Sure.”
“So congratulations, really,” he says. “Okay if I sit down?”
“Thanks.” I nod. He sits down right next to me, but not close enough that any of our parts are touching. My eyes track that space between us, as if it’s something so familiar but from another lifetime.
“It’s a big deal,” he says.
“Yeah. For you too.”
“Not really. I don’t mean to seem jaded, but the first one felt like a bigger deal. And I can’t get that excited about an award for acting like a total dick.” He’s flustered. “Oh, sorry.”
“No offense taken, that’s how I wrote it.”
“Yeah. So are you happy? You said you were happy a while back.”
“I am. My kids are good. I’m a big success.” I look away, as if on the other side of me might be the answer, a better thing to say.
