Page 69 of Apex of the Curve
“Oh, God, oh, God, Fenris, I’m going to come!” I cried and his hold tightened on me even as I tightened around him just that last little bit. It took only one or two final jerking little thrusts to run himself over my G-spot and I came completely undone. The feral sound of my pleasure climbed from my throat and spilled out of my mouth in a veritable wolf’s howl of pleasure directed toward the ceiling, as he cried out himself and lost all semblance of rhythm, plunging into the warm bathwater abyss of afterglow sensation with me.
We came back to one another almost too quickly, both panting, both shattered and still on the mend. It felt like Kintsugi to me. The artform out of Japan of mending broken things with gold at the seams. A beautiful way of recognizing the history of the object in question. I smiled down at Fenris and kissed him softly with gratitude – for mending me so beautifully, and for becoming a part of my history; that no matter what happened from here on out would always remain a treasured memory.
I felt a deep awakening of emotion in that moment, frightening in its intensity. As he looked into my eyes, I saw it reflected in his, but also something deep and unspoken on his side – something akin to fear.
“What is it? What’s wrong?” I asked softly, turning his face back to mine gently with my hands when he looked away.
“Nothing,” he lied and tried a smile, but it slipped away along with mine.
“You know, I think I knew,” I confessed, and it was hard to say out loud.
“Knew what?” he asked, clear blue eyes clouding with concern even as he softened inside of me.
“That Charles was lying. I think I knew for a long time. A lot longer than I even want to admit to myself,” I said. Fenris’ arms tightened around me and I leaned back over them slightly to keep his face in view. “The vibe you’re putting off right now is the same,” I said, sorrow swirling in my breast. “You’re lying to me,” I murmured. “And I can’t tell you how much that hurts.”
“Oh, shit. Babe, no. It’s not like that… It’s not like that at all.”
“Then please, talk to me… what’s wrong?” I asked gently.
He sighed, heavily, and said without looking at me, “This is nice. Probably the nicest thing I’ve ever had, but I can’t help but worry that I’m not the right kind of man for you.”
“Why?” I asked, stricken. Of all the things to come out of his mouth, I somehow hadn’t expected that at all. I mean, Fenris was so… confident. Why on earth would he ever think something like that?
“There are some things I can’t tell you, that I’ll never be able to tell you, you have to understand that.”
I felt my shoulders drop in something akin to defeat. Secrets. I felt like I’d had my fill of secrets as of late… but something deep inside me, despite the instant misgivings, told me to hear him out.
“Explain,” I urged, and he reached down to the floor and pulled the blanket up around my shoulders, tucking it around me to keep my warm as the struggle of what to say crossed his gorgeous features.
“It’s the life,” he said finally. “We live by our own set of rules,” he said.
“Like what?” I asked softly.
“In a lot of ways, it’s simpler than what you live by as a citizen,” he said. “In other ways, it’s a lot more complicated.”
“Give me an example,” I murmured, caressing the side of his face, temple to chin, down the side of his neck, along his collarbone, over the swell of his shoulder, down his arm. I couldn’t help but smile gently as he closed his eyes and at the wave of gooseflesh that erupted in the wake of my touch.
I don’t think I’d ever affected someone so thoroughly before, and I really kind of liked it. I liked it a lot.
“For example, violence is sort of a way of life for us. We don’t hide from it. We don’t shrink from it. A motherfucker needs his ass kicked; we kick it.”
“Okay, hypothetically, why would a motherfucker need his ass kicked?” I asked and Fenris chuckled, touching the bottom of my chin with a crooked forefinger, pulling down on my bottom lip gently with his thumb at my language.
“Kiss me with that dirty mouth,” he said and his voice was warm with a low, seductive heat.
I kissed him gently, chastely, but leaned back up out of reach and arched an eyebrow expectantly.
“A lot of reasons. Disrespecting me, one of my brothers, my property.”
“What, like touching your bike or something?” I asked.
He nodded. “Or you,” he said and I blinked, an abrupt laugh sneaking out of my throat before I could stop it, but on second thought…
“I’m not your property, I’m a woman.”
He smiled and nodded, giving me a little swat on the ass beneath the blanket.
“My woman, for all intents and purposes at the moment,” he said.
