Page 72 of Boss Me
I stood, my hands shaking. “I’ve just opened my veins to you. I’m bleeding out for you. I’m offering you my fucking life!” I smashed the side of my fist against the fence, and it clanged like a bell.
Ben rose, slowly. “I don’t think that’s true. You haven’t opened yourself at all. Not to me, not to anyone else. I like the glimpses you’ve given me this week. But I want it all.”
“All?” I could feel my eyes bulging, and I didn’t care. My voice ripped through my chest. “No one wants all of what’s inside me.” Someone as beautiful and perfect as Ben couldn’t stand the ugliness I fought every day. I was used to hiding it. And for a moment, I had hoped that what I was willing to show him could be enough.
Ben’s eyes went hard and glittery as topaz. “We need some time to cool off. We can talk when you’re not like this.” He turned on the bare sole of his foot and limped around the side of the fence to the path toward the resort.
“Wait.” How had I fucked it up so badly? I sprinted to the corner of the fence and ran into a solid wall.
“Get out of my fucking way, Mateo,” I growled.
“No, Lito. You can’t talk to him when you’re angry.”
“Why the hell not?”
“Because you told me to protect him. And now I’m protecting him from you.”
All the heat washed out of me like the receding tide. “I wouldn’t—I’d never—”
He crossed his arms.
He was right.
The side of my palm twinged from where I’d slammed it into the metal fence. Shit. I scrubbed my other hand over my eyes. “Go after him, please. Make sure he’s safe.” I didn’t add from me.
The next second, he was gone.
I turned back toward the table. The garish flowers. Ben’s half-eaten dinner. My untouched plate. The cooler that held the too-sweet chocolate dessert he would’ve loved. I put my hands on top of my head and pulled at the roots of my hair. I’d fucked it all up. And now he was gone.
I wanted to kick the table. Shred the flowers with my bare hands. Smash the plates. It would feel good for a minute. Release all the tension that’d built in my muscles.
But it wouldn’t bring him back.
I let go of my hair, and my hands flopped to my sides.
A whine came from below, and when I looked down, Coco gazed up at me, blinking his big, brown eyes.
“What the hell are you doing here? Why didn’t you go with Ben?”
The dog yawned and then rubbed his face on my leg.
“Brainless animal. Everyone knows Ben is a better human than me. I’ll probably forget to feed you. You should follow him. Go.”
He plunked his ass on the sand and stared at me.
“Fine, then. Your mistake.”
I set my plate of fish and vegetables onto the sand. While Coco scarfed it, I rinsed my feet in cold water from the spigot then trudged back into the house. I found a towel and wiped down Coco. When he was clean, I let him follow me into the house. I closed the bedroom door in his face—I had my limits—and crawled under the covers, alone.
25
BEN
I woke up to the scent of rich island coffee.
“Mmm, Cooper.” I stretched, and when my hands hit the sofa cushion, my stomach jerked like I’d missed a step on the stairs.
I snapped my eyelids open and stared at the unfamiliar ceiling, which didn’t dance with light reflected from Cooper’s pool.
