Page 47 of Boss Me
“I’ll go with you to the gate. It sticks sometimes.” A lie. Luis’s staff ensured the gate never stuck.
We strolled in silence to the gate, the dog trotting at Ben’s heels. When we reached it, I rested my hand on the metal. My voice came out sulky and gruff. “You could come over later. For dinner. If you want.”
“She’s not staying?” He flicked his gaze to the deck and Jamila.
“No. She only came to check on me.”
“That was nice of her. But really, don’t kick her out on my account. I have some work to do. For school. I took a couple days off, and now I have to catch up.”
“Bring it over?” Why couldn’t I just let him go, let him have an evening to himself? Avoid the temptation?
Because he’d followed me here. Taken care of me. Hadn’t treated me like the monster I was. And because I wanted him. Needed him. Even though that made me a beast.
A little line creased between his eyebrows. “Okay. See you around nine?”
“Eight. I’ll send her off early.”
A tiny smile. “See you then.”
He ambled back toward the resort, Coco trotting at his heels.
When I returned to the table, Jamila had pushed away her plate. “So how are you really?”
“Better.” My chest didn’t squeeze all the time, and I’d slept almost eight hours straight the previous night.
“Good. You know we’re all worried about you. Especially Jay.”
My mouth tightened. “And yet, you’re the one who came to check on me.”
“I don’t have an infant at home and a wife trying to keep her business afloat. Jay has new responsibilities. You’re going to have to get used to them, you know.” Her voice was gentle as the distant surf.
“I don’t know that.” I tried to breathe through the tightness that was back in full force. “Weston said Jay’s considering getting out.”
She cocked her head. “Weston said this? Not Jay?”
“He didn’t have to fucking say it,” I snarled. “He’s had one foot out the fucking door since he got married.”
Jamila spoke even more slowly than usual, feeling her way through my emotional minefield. “I know his marriage last fall was a lot for you to accept, feeling the way you do.”
“Did. I don’t…not anymore.”
“You sure about that?”
“Of course I am! He’s got a fucking family. I’d never—” I tried to swallow, but my throat had sand in it. I gulped from my glass of water.
“I know, honey. I know. But.” She took her time folding her napkin next to her plate. “I thought maybe when you yelled at him, it meant…”
“It meant I miss my best friend.”
Her eyes went liquid. “Coop, he—”
“No. She’s his best friend now. He’s moved on. He’s a husband and a father first. And that’s—that’s the way it should be.” I stood and strode to the edge of the pool to recapture my breath.
“And you think selling your shares will make you feel better?” She stroked the center of my back and stared with me into the blue depths of the water.
“I don’t know. I made the sale when I was drunk. It didn’t feel terrible when it went through.” It felt like nothing at all. Ben was probably right about my depression.
“If you’re going to sell more, you should tell him first. You guys had that agreement.”
