Page 15 of A Discovery: Love and Other Things
Suddenly, he grabbed the notebook and hurled it about four feet ahead of him. Even in anger, he was careful not to harm the historic walls that encased him.
Large hands rubbed at his face, a cloud of frustration surrounding him. He no longer looked like the pain-in-the-ass professor that I loathed; instead, I saw a like a tormented man. Like his insecurities were demons that haunted him.
I held my breath as I stood frozen, unsure of what to do. My brain warned me that I should turn around and skip the talk altogether to avoid having something chucked at my head.
But a feeling in my core urged me to stay, to comfort him. To tell him that everything would be alright, even though I hated him.
My feet felt leaden as I struggled to decide whether I wanted to go to him or retreat, causing me to stumble when I finally took a step forward. Rocks rolled from my tumble, capturing Dr. Campbell’s attention.
He stood up hastily, startled that the safety of his loneliness had been breached. He squinted in my direction, the natural sunlight through the entrance marring his vision. “Sanura?”
My hand flashed a wave as casually as I could muster, but I probably just looked like I was shooing away a fly. “Hey, Dr. Campbell. How’s it going?” My voice was even more awkward than my wave.
“What are you doing here?” he asked, bewildered.
I limped fully into the temple. I had been inside briefly during my day-and-a-half stint as an archaeology intern, but never really had a chance to explore. The interior was small, looking more like a utility closet than an ancient place of worship. One would only be able to tell it was a shrine from the hieroglyphs and carved statues of Tutankhamun set along the wall.
“I was wondering if we could maybe talk. About the other day.” My fingers fiddled in front of my waist.
“I see.” His eyes pierced mine with intensity.
“I haven’t heard anything about an end date for my suspension, and I hoped that—”
He raised his hand to stop me—a condescending move, but I let him have it.
“You can come back.”
My mouth gaped open. I’d been expecting to fight for my position or at the very least offer a fake apology. Never had I thought that I would merely have to utter a few sentences and get to return without discussing what was said.
His analytical stare fell to my ankle, scanning it over. “What’s the matter? You’re staring at me like that wasn’t what you wanted.”
“I mean...it is. No, it’s what I want,” I stammered. “I just thought you’d need an apology or something.”
His focus flashed to my face, making my breath hitch. “Apologies are bullshit. People tell them all the time without ever meaning them. They’re like magic empty words people use when they selfishly want to move on. It bears no consequence for the person receiving the apology.”
“I guess that’s one way to put it.” He kind of had a point. Apologies were often just a formality and didn’t hold much meaning. Mine certainly wouldn’t have.
“Did you come all the way here to offer me an empty apology?” One of his thick eyebrows hiked expectantly at me.
I tested his patience. “Would you rescind your decision for me to return if I said yes?”
He chuckled, catching me by surprise again. “I wouldn’t. Were you expecting me to apologize to you for the things I said?”
Honestly, I was. He was out of line, and I was hoping that he regretted his premature judgment of me. “Your assessment of me was wrong. I don’t think it was fair for you to say those things, not just about me but the other interns.”
His jaw worked as he considered my words. Dr. Campbell listened without interrupting me, though I couldn’t tell what he was thinking from his poker face. I moved closer to him, catching an aroma of something aged, like a mix of leather-bound books and whiskey.
“This excavation is probably just one of many for you,” I continued, “but it’s my first taste of being in the field, doing what I plan to devote my entire career to.”
“You’re wrong,” he replied bluntly.
“What?”
So low that I could barely catch what he said, almost like he was regretting his admission as he was saying it, he muttered, “This isn’t just another excavation for me. This one matters to me more than you know.”
My eyes traveled to the splayed-out notebook on the ground, searching for a more substantial explanation. “Care to share?”
He turned away from me and carefully collected his notes, straightening the pages out, before bending over the samples he had been studying on the ground. “That’s for me to worry about.”
