Page 146 of Renegade Rift
Love.
And yet, no matter how hard I try to manifest a solution, or a positive attitude, I can’t seem to manage either.
My knuckles turn white where I clutch my phone as I read Soph’s messages two more times, then swipe over to where Juliet still hasn’t responded to my good morning text.
Fuck.
Is this really happening?
I thought—shit, I don’t know what I thought, but she said she was mine. Excuse me for believing that meant something.
It never crossed my mind she’d consider leaving New York after that sweeping declaration.
No, not New York.
Me.
I thought we had something. Fuck, wedohave something. I just can’t figure out if she’s scared or maybe I read all the signs wrong.
I thought she just needed space.
That’s normal. Healthy even.
But if she wants to go, I need to let her.
Right?
It would be wrong of me to beg her to stay.
My heart continues to crack every time I think of a life without Juliet in it.
Soph is right. Depressed Ford has absolutely entered the chat.
Fuck, I hope Juliet doesn’t go.
Then again, maybe I’m not meant to keep people. It’s not fair, but all the people I want to stay in my life end up leaving me. At least if she goes to California, she’s still alive—unlike the rest.
“Alright, McCoy. What the fuck is going through that head of yours?”
Not bothering to lift my head, I side-eye Carson as he plops into the seat usually occupied by Kiefer when we take over away locker rooms.
“I’m fine,” I snap, but even I can hear the way my voice drips with lies.
Carson cocks a brow. “Are you sure? Because you’ve writtenloveon that baseline every single game we’ve been on the road, but unlike in New York, there’s no light behind your eyes.”
I pin a pointed glare that’s meant to say,it’s none of your damn business, but Carson, ever the Meddlesome Mildred, either doesn’t catch it or doesn’t care.
Probably the second.
“Okay. What I meant is, you’ve been sucking and sulking, and I’m trying to figure out why.” He could stop there, but of course he doesn’t. He inhales and continues. “Because as your co-captain, it’s my job to care, and really, I’ve got nothing better to do since I’m not pitching tonight. So, I’ve decided your problems are my problems, and we’re going to fix them.”
I roll my eyes. “You’re right. You definitely shouldn’t be watching the batters and studying them for the next time we face Philly.”
“I’m great at multitasking,” he says, wiggling his eyebrows, and I’m not sure he realizes how suggestive that sounds.
Then again, it’s Carson. Maybe he does.
One thing I know for sure is he’s not going to leave this alone.
