Page 107 of Renegade Rift
“Fuck yes.” I raise my voice and immediately regret it when Juliet flinches. Shit. I close my eyes and force myself to breathe. “We were his closest friends in Chicago. I—how could he come here and not tell us?”
Juliet’s eyes soften, and I swear there’s an understanding I can’t place. “Do you think maybe he just needs time to figure things out?”
“I’m sure he does. He’s been through a lot.”Damn it, am I the asshole?A frustrated sigh bubbles from deep in my chest. “I’m trying to understand, but it just feels like a slap in the face after all the things we’ve done for him.”
“But maybe it’s not about you. Sometimes it’s easier to figure things out without the people who love you most breathing down your neck.”
My stomach drops out my ass, and I flinch when I find Juliet’s eyes locked on her coffee and her lips pressed together, holding back whatever she was about to say next.
“Are you speaking from experience?” I whisper, doing my best to hide the panic sitting on my chest like a dumbbell.
Please say no. Please say I’m not too much for you too.
“When Tyler died in the crash and Saul and his guys showed up looking for money, I cut ties with my parents to keep them safe. Over time, I knew I could’ve reached out to them or, at a minimum, let them know I was okay. But I didn’t.” She swallows hard, but when she glances up again, a small smile tips the right side of her lips. “And then you came along and helped me get back on my feet in a way that allowed me to actually consider a future that wasn’t tethered to chasing debts. I’m free of the chains that made it impossible to be close to my family and yet, I still haven’t reached out to them.”
“Why not?” It’s a topic I haven’t wanted to push her on, despite the numerous calls and texts I’ve dodged from her family. It’s another thing I can’t comprehend. Because I’d give anything to call my mom or hell, even my dad.
“It’s not that I don’t want to.I do. But right now, I feel like I’m trying to figure out who I am and what comes next for me, and that’s easier to do without those who love me trying totellme who I am.”
Is that what I’m trying to do?
It’s not like Mercer has given me the chance to do so. But if he did, I can’t deny that maybe I would find myself guilty of doing exactly that. I would’ve told him that being a Renegade means being part of a team. That he has to keep his nose clean and wear the black and orange with honor. But I also would have told him he’s a good man and not to listen to the things the tabloids have been saying. That even though they have a loud voice, this team will be louder when it counts.
Juliet watches me curiously, and it’s almost as if doing so allowed her to hear my thoughts and respond perfectly. “You can be a lot when you put your mind to helping someone.”
“But you let me stick around.”
“You hulk smashed your way in.” She huffs a playful laugh and takes another sip of coffee, spilling a little from the corner of her mouth. “ButIneeded that. Maybe after everything, Mercer just needs some space to figure out who he is now and where he fits in the grand scheme of things.”
“I don’t like it.” It hurts to admit out loud. “But maybe you’re right.”
She absolutely is, and I definitely owe Mercer an apology.
“Can I get that in writing?” Juliet grabs the notepad and pen I keep on the counter for grocery lists and pushes it across the island to me. “Because I’m going to remind you of this moment, the next time you try to tell me shoes belong under the bed.”
I roll my eyes. Not this again. “It’s just easier to slip them on when I can toe them out from under there.”
“That’s not a thing.”
I shake my head, and even though I won’t concede she’s right—because seriously, shoes you wear daily don’t need to be in the closet—I’d consider it if it meant I got to have more mornings like this. Just Juliet and me, talking over coffee, war-gaming our problems.
It’s borderline unfair how right this feels.
And don’t get me started on last night.
Fuck. I’m ruined for anyone else but her.
Utterly destroyed.
I set my coffee down and padaround the island, giving into the need to have her in my arms. When she doesn’t flinch or pull away, I tighten my grip. “Thank you for being my sounding board.”
She shrugs. “You’ve been mine these last few weeks. I figured it was only right to return the favor.”
I press a gentle kiss to the top of her head. “Along with orgasms, right?”
She giggles. Like girly giggles. And right then I decide it’s my favorite sound. One I will absolutely make my mission to hear more.
Juliet wraps her arms around me and laces her fingers. She leans back into my arms and hits me with a lopsided grin. “I suppose I did say that.”
