Page 188 of Hat Trick
The Stars are one win away from advancing to the next round in the playoffs, and tensions are high. They’ve done the impossible this season, coming back from an abysmal start to shake up the Eastern conference, and everyone who counted us out before the All-Star break is eating their words.
“I’m sorry you all lost, Em,” Madeline says gently, and Emmy sighs.
“Me too. We had all the components to go far this year, but it didn’t happen. Guess it’s back to cheering for the Stars and my obnoxious husband who thinks the world revolves around him.”
“You’re quiet tonight, Lex.” Maven rests her head on my shoulder. “Are you okay?”
What a fucking loaded question that is.
No, I’m not okay. The nicest and most supportive man in the world loves me. Isn’t that the most devastating thing you’ve ever heard?
“I, um, need some relationship advice,” I mutter, and my kitchen goes silent. “Before I give up the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“Okay,” Piper says slowly. “Do you want to tell us what’s going on?”
“Riley and I have been sleeping together for months, and he told me he loves me. I think I love him too, but I’ve never loved anyone before, so I can’t be sure I’m doing it right. And I’m really, really scared.”
“Whoa,” Madeline whispers.
“Holy shit. Maverick is going to owe mea lotof money,” Emmy cheers.
“I figured you two were up to something because of the tattoos and the goddamn hickeys on your neck, butlove?That’s a big word, Lex,” Maven says.
“Minnesota wants him to interview for an open scouting position, and I kind of pushed him away when I told him he should take it. I put up the barrier Ialwaysput up, and that’s when he told me he loves me.”
I can still hear his words ringing in my ears. They’ve followed me around every single day that’s passed, a reminder of what I could have if I just accepted it.
Half of me has hoped he’d reach out. I constantly check my phone to see if he’s messaged me, but he’s sticking to his word. He’s letting me decide how this moves forward, and that makes everything swirling in my head even more convoluted and complicated.
“How do you feel about him?” Piper asks, and I shrug.
“The sex is great,” I say, and she puts her hand over mine.
“How do you feel when he’s around?” she asks instead, and that makes me pause.
Like I’m on top of the world.
Like I could jump off a building and fly.
Like I could climb the highest mountain and scale the rockiest cliff without breaking a sweat.
Like I’ve finally found somewhere I can stay for longer than a night. Somewhere I feel safe, secure, and taken care of, and I swallow down the lump in my throat.
“You know the first day of spring after the snow melts?” I croak. “The afternoon where you step outside and tip your chin up to the sky and let out a deep breath? I feel like that every single time he hugs me. It’s never-ending warmth. Constant sunshine, even on the dark days, and I-I don’t know how any of it is real.”
“Just because you haven’t experienced it doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist,” Madeline says. “You don’t have to see it to believe it.”
“Can it always be this good though? The charm has to wear off eventually, right? Do I have rose-tinted glasses on? Am I only feeling this way because it’s new and fun and something I haven’t done before? People… people aren’t this happy all the time, are they?” I ask.
“I am,” Emmy says. “And as someone who spent many, many yearsnothappy, it’s such a relief when you finally stop fighting it.”
“So, what? If he does go to Minnesota, would I follow him? Would I chase after him and put my career on hold for his? Would we do long distance? Break up?” I challenge. “How would any of this work?”
“If one of us came to you and asked for advice, what would you say?” Madeline asks, and I weigh her question.
“I would say you should never give up on your dreams for someone else. And your own happiness has to come before someone else’s.” I pause and blink away tears. “But I’d also ask when was the last time you were ever this happy.”
“You two are adults. Adults make it work,” Maven says. “Even when it’s hard. Even when it feels like the odds are stacked against you.”
