Page 185 of Hat Trick
“It would let you still be involved in the league.” Lexi starts to pace around the room. I can already feel her nervous energy radiating from her. “You’d have health insurance and benefits, which you’re going to need for caring for your prosthetic. That’s important.”
“You’re important too.”
“Come on.” Her laugh is brittle, sharp. “You can’t really be considering not taking a job because of me.”
“Why wouldn’t I?” I challenge. “You’re the most important thing in my life. DC is my home.Youare my home.”
“This is your career we’re talking about, Riley! Your future! A chance to keep doing what you love without wondering if you’ll ever have a shot at making a team somewhere down the road.” She pauses and snaps her mouth shut for a beat. “You should do it. You should go.”
“Ah. I see what’s happening here.”
“Nothing is happening here.”
“Really?” I step toward her, not stopping until our chests are pressed together. “You’re not trying to push me away when things are getting serious between us? You’re not taking this as a sign I’m going to leave you and hurt you when I go, because everyone else has? You want to run because you’re scared. Because it’s never been like this for you before, and I get it. But guess what, Lexi? It doesn’t matter if I’m here, or if I’m in Minnesota, or any other fucking team in the league. I’m not letting you go even if you push back and try to tell me all the reasons I shouldn’t stay.”
“Why not?” Tears pool in her eyes, and she wipes her cheek. “Why are you different? Why should I believe you?”
“Because Ilove you,” I tell her, and she freezes. Her shoulders shake, but I keep going. “I love you so much it fuckinghurts, and I know that scares the shit out of you. It scares me too, because how can things bethis fucking goodwith you when the rest of my life is in shambles?”
Her chest heaves. Her eyes are wet, and her mouth is halfway open, like she has something she wants to say.
“You want to know why I’ve had all those good days? Because you were there. Because I’ve been an idiotic, pathetic mess of a man since the first day I saw you. I can’t think straight when you’re around. I can’t walk right when you smile at me. I can’t… I can’t fuckingbreatheunless you’re looking at me. And everything in your past might have fallen apart, but we won’t. We can’t, because deep down, I know you love me too,” I say.
Lexi’s bottom lip quivers. “I-I need some air,” she whispers. “I need to get out of here.”
“If you want to run, I’ll chase you. If you want to build a wall to keep me out, I’ll climb it. If you need time, I’ll give it to you. I’m patient, Lexi. I’m going to be waiting for you when you come back. However long that takes.”
She touches my cheek with a soft graze of her fingers, and I melt. I don’t know whether it’s the last time I’ll get to feel her on my skin or the start of something new, so I savor it. I turn my cheek and kiss the center of her palm, the curve of her knuckles, and she pulls away.
“I love you,” I repeat, my voice hoarse and throat raw. It feels like I’ve been screaming underwater for hours. It also feels like someone is digging a screwdriver into my chest. “And I’m going to love you for as long as you’ll let me.”
I kiss her forehead and hop on the treatment table. I can’t be the one to leave. It has to be her, and with a heavy breath, she shuffles to the door. She wraps her fingers around the handle and looks back at me, something else on the tip of her tongue.
But she doesn’t say it. She disappears into the hall and I stay there, ready to wait for the rest of my life, if that’s what it takes.
FIFTY
RILEY
“This month’s book sucked,”Grant groans. “A third act breakup?Miscommunication?Read the fucking room, bro. No one wants to read that shit.”
“I don’t mind miscommunication,” Connor says. “It’s realistic. People miscommunicate all the time.”
“It’s not hard to just open your fucking mouth and say what you’re feeling,” Maverick argues.
“Look who’s a relationship guru now,” Liam draws out. “As if you didn’t keep your mouth closed after all your one-night stands then make Hayes do your cleanup work.”
“There was a lot of cleanup work,” Hudson agrees.
“Hey. Don’t talk about my past. I’m a changed man these days. A one-woman-for-the-rest-of-my-life married asshole who’s never been happier.” Maverick snaps his fingers in front of my face, and I blink. “Earth to Mitchy. You haven’t contributed to our conversation all night. It’s like talking to a wall.”
“Because he hated the book too,” Ethan says. “That ending was fucking horrible.”
“I didn’t hate it.” I put my paperback on Liam and Piper’s coffee table and take a sip of my beer. “I have a lot on my mind.”
“Ah, pensive Riley.” Grant nods. “Heavy is the head that wears a crown.”
“What does that even mean?” Ethan asks.
