Page 49 of Heavy
“R-Ronan. Where are you?” My eyes flick behind me, the car still tailing me.
“The cabin, you?” I can hear him grab a set of keys. “It sounds like you’re driving. What’s wrong? Talk to me.”
“I hear this weird rattling under my car,” I start, shifting back into the slow lane as I pass an exit. I’m not sure what to do. If I pull over on the side of the road and that car is really who I think it is, I may never get back intomycar. But if I take an exit, I could get into a more public area, maybe even somewhere safer.
But they don’t care. They’ll do whatever they want, even if the police were watching.
“What’s it sound like?”
“Metal hitting the ground.” The sound of his motorcycle revs, and I whisper a ‘thank fuck’.
He groans. “Okay, and—”
“Ronan…” I cut him off. “I think someone’s following me.” When he doesn’t respond, panic surges through me and I rush to explain. “I’m sorry—” My hands start to shake, and I backtrack. “I-I think so, they’ve been changing lanes with me. I-I could be overthinking it…”
“One moment.” He goes silent again and I hear a click, then tires pulling up dirt. “You there?”
“Yes.”
“First, tell me where you are. Are you going southbound on the highway?”
“Yes, I just passed Delmar,” I respond quickly. “I’m not losing speed, nothing has happened to the car.”
“Look at your gas.”
When I do, my blood runs cold. My knuckles go stark white from how tightly I’m gripping the wheel. I’m down to a quarter tank, and I just filled up this morning.
“Baby girl, breathe. How much gas do you have?”
My stomach churns as I struggle to pull in a breath. “A quarter,” I manage to whisper, the words barely escaping.
“Fuck!” he screams, and the intensity in his tone doesn’t help my frantic heart. “Listen to me, why would someone be following you?”
“I don’t know.”
Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar. Liar.
“Calista, now isn’t the time to keep anything from me. Your safety—”
“Ronan, I don’t know!” My voice elevates, and I shake harder than I already was. I hate lying, but I can’t tell him. Just like I couldn’t tell him about that night.
“Okay, okay…” He sighs, and I’m now just realizing that his voice seems like it’s slightly echoed. I must be in his helmet, but I don’t hear any outside noises. “Listen to me. I need you to breathe. I cannot have you having a panic attack on the highway. Let me hear you breathe.”
I struggle at first, but after his gentle “shh” I manage to steady myself. I breathe in and out, finding a rhythm.
“There you go,” he encourages. “That’s it. I’ve got you. Now, keep breathing and give me a moment.” I don’t think I’ve ever felt safer in my life, and he isn’t even physically here. My heart swells and aches with how he treats me, even though I don’t deserve it.
After a moment, the phone begins to ring, and I suck in a sharp breath.
“No longer ghosting me, Ro?” I recognize the voice that comes through the line. “I’m still mad at you. Ditching me for pussy that night, I swore we were closer than that.”
For… pussy…?
I shouldn’t feel anything other than fear, but my stomach tightens. A pang of jealousy rushes through me, and I’m not sure if the numbness has always been there, or if it’s this moment that makes me feel it now.
“Ken, Calista is on the line. Shut the fuck up and listen.”
“Oops, my bad.” He sounds sheepish.
