Page 32 of Heavy
I hear heavy feet coming up behind me, but I grab my helmet sitting near the entrance to the front door, and rush outside.
“Ronan, wait.”
Swinging around, causing him to immediately halt a few feet from me, I square my shoulders and make myself bigger. I’m already so to him, but I’m here to make a point.
“I waited far too long for you already, Eamon.” I’d waited and hoped that my big brother would come back to save me. Instead, just like all the other selfish men in our family, he did what he wanted and never looked back.
He shakes his head and I can see the pain in his eyes as they slightly squint. “I’m sorry.”
I tut. “I don’t want your apologies—I don’t wantanythingfrom you other than a roof to sleep under.” I take a step toward him, causing him to flinch. “Don’t invite me back to dinner. Don’t come and see me.” Pausing for a moment, a thought crosses my mind. “Don’t tell her I’m at the cabin. I’ll be gone by the end of the year, and Brother?”
Although he doesn’t say anything, I can see the very subtle nod of his head.
“I hope your guilt is unbearable.”
11
Calista
“Whatthefuckiswrong with you?!” I’mmortified—and that’s putting it lightly. My chest aches, and even if I wanted to stay, I feel so sick that I wouldn’t be able to finish my food.
“Cal, please,” my mother scoffs, wiping her lips with a napkin before turning to me. Her eyebrows are pinched, exaggerating her disapproving look. “Why are you defending him?”
“I’m not defending anyone. You are being an asshole. If you were so worried about him being here why did you agree to him coming?”
She sighs. “I didn’t. Your father pressed about this dinner, and I haven’t been able to spend time with him recently.”
Shaking my head, I snort a laugh. “So you used this moment to show your true colors. Did you forget that not long ago, I had to peel you off our couch because you were too high to get up and go to the bathroom by yourself?”
When her head turns to look through the archway that leads to the front door, I let out a laugh that isn’t built with humor. I knew she hadn’t told Eamon. She’d begged me never to bring it up, and said in her own time she would tell him; it’s beenten years.
“You are still holding that over my head when it has been nearly twelve years?” She sounds hurt, as if her actions hadn’t left permanent consequences. I want to tell her I’ve been carrying this suffocating grudge against her for much longer—ever since Dad died.
I turn to leave but she stretches across the table and grabs my wrist. “Cal, wait.” Pulling roughly, I separate us and go toward the door, my body fighting the heat that’s building across every inch of my skin. This feeling, I’m far too familiar with it.
“You’re turning red, sweetheart, please don’t.”
“Let me go!” I scream and smack her hand as she tries to stop me for a second time.
“Why are you getting so upset about this?” When I glance over my shoulder at her, I notice something new written across her face. It’s as if she’s finally contemplating why I’m upset about how she treated Ronan.
“I-I’m not. I don’t care how you treated him.”I’m such a filthy liar.“I’m angry because you’ve forgotten your place. So let me remind you: just because you weren’t caught for what you did doesn’t make you any less of a criminal, Mother.”
Her chin trembles at my words, and I feel a prickling sensation in my hands, as if needles are stabbing them. My vision blurs in and out, and my head fills with the buzzing of swarming bees. I’m starting to have a panic attack, but I can’t let it happen here.
“I’ve apologized, Calista. I got my life together—”
“That I helped you get when I should have been enjoying cheer, moving to another state to go to college, traveling the world. Instead, I had to make sure you went to your treatments.” I press my finger against her shoulder, gritting my teeth in anger and hate. “Make sure you didn’t fall back into drugs.” I can see my hand shaking just as I push her back. “Sometimes… time isn’t enough for retribution.”
I spin away from her, grab my purse, and rush out of the house, the cool air washing over me like a breath of fresh freedom.
Ronan’s motorcycle isn’t parked out front, but I spot Eamon standing at the end of the walkway, his hands in his pockets and his head tilted back to the sky. I brush past him without a word, not in the mood for conversation, and head straight to my car.
“Sorry, Cal.”
My hands shake so badly that I can barely click the key fob to unlock my Mustang.
“Don’t let this keep you from coming for dinner again. I’ll talk with your mother.” Eamon is a good man, and I hate to say it, but my mother doesn’t deserve him.
