Page 65 of Fated In Ruin
For a long time, he considered me, pieces of my broken heart crumbling, a frantic desperation ramping up my heartrate, my breathing, until I was a sweaty twist of nerves beneath his unflinching gaze.
This is it. Blake’s changed his mind. He’s about to ask me to leave, and where am I going to go, where…
“You are your own person, Evie.” He reached out slowly, the tips of his fingers dragging down through my tears. “You are entitled to your own feelings and your own choices, without any judgement from me. You chose Malachi, and I have to find a way to accept that.”
My mind stuttered, then charged down a brand-new path, one I certainly didn’t deserve. “But I…”
My mate pressed a gentle finger over my lips. “It won’t be easy,” he admitted softly, “but Iwillfind a way to accept this, I promise.”
He cupped my chin. “I will find a way because I will always choose you, Evangeline.Always. No matter the circumstances, no matter the odds, you will always be my first choice. Myonlychoice.”
I wanted to lower the guards around my heart.
I wanted to tumble headfirst into Blake’s arms and bask in his forgiveness, but something held me back. Maybe because I still hadn’t forgiven myself.
Maybe because I couldn’t understand how he could forgive me so easily.
“But you have to tell Riordan, Evie,” he murmured quietly, brushing tears off my cheeks. “He deserves to hear the truth from you. but I’ll be right beside you, because I will always have your back.”
* * *
The scentof aged wood and spiced wine curled around my senses like a warm blanket, but there was no comfort in this room today. Every muscle ached dimly, like some old, forgotten injury was still nagging at me, and though I hadn’t taken the time to look in a mirror, one cheek was more tender than the other.
I stood stiff in the center of the dimly lit office, the flickering light casting restless shadows that danced like accusations across the walls. Blake waited in the shadows behind me, Riordan was seated across from me, the weight of my own guilt pressing down on my shoulders.
I’d prepared myself for this moment—playing the words over and over in my head, shaping them into something kind enough to soften the blow. But no matter how I wove them into something less ugly, the truth remained sharp and jagged.
There was no lessening the betrayal I had committed.
“You look better, Evie.” Riordan’s eyes were warm, even kind as his gaze tracked over me. “When you dropped out of the sky…what the fuck was Draven thinking?” He set the tiny, glowing globe on the desk between us. “Did you even know what this is?”
I peered at the thing, remembering finding the little glass sphere in my family’s vault months ago, Alistair’s gloating when he’d taken it back from me. “No, but Silas used this at Ebonshade House to escape. So it’s a device that allows you to dematerialize. There must be magic trapped inside.”
Rohr nodded. “Witch magic, according to Fiona. But you have to guide this relic with intent, which is why it brought you here, then dropped you. You could have died.”
No, Malachi sent me here, I wanted to say, but kept quiet.
I approached the desk, touched the globe, the surface still warm to the touch. “He slipped this around my neck and did what he could to get me out of there quickly. He was badly injured, we both were. We have to get him back, Riordan. Before Ravok kills him.”
Riordan tipped back in his chair, his face unreadable. “Give me a good reason why, and I’ll think about it.”Okay, fair enough.
“Because Malachi is the only one who knows Ravok’s weaknesses, how to kill him. Once Malachi’s dead, since Ravok can see the future, we’ll never stay ahead of him. We blew our chance yesterday, but without Malachi Draven, we won’t get another one.”
I swallowed. “But there’s something you have to know before you decide. I fed from him and I slept with him, and I made that choice, but I never—ever—wanted to hurt you.” I turned to Blake.
“Eitherof you. I love you both so much, I can’t imagine a life or a future without you, but I did this. I…cheated.” My heart ached with every whispered admission and Riordan still hadn’t said a single word.
“I wasn’t forced or coerced, or controlled, this was my decision, and if you decide you want me out of your life, I completely understand.” I dipped my head so he didn’t see the tears gathering in my eyes again. “I’ll leave today, and you would never have to see me again. If that’s what you want.”
Even worse, my out-of-control emotions were causing my magic to rise, a shadowy wave of unfurling darkness that had me clenching my hands, clamping every bit of my control down over them, smothering the churning power.
Right now, the last thing we needed for my own sins to come alive, right in front of us.
“But we can’t let Malachi die, and that’s not some selfish decision, that’s the truth. Ravok isn’t like anything I’ve ever…” My words trail off when I realized who I was talking to. “Well, I suppose out of all of us, you know what a monster he is, don’t you?”
“Silver, look at me.” Somehow, Riordan was right in front of me, tall and imposing and I didn’t want to look. Didn’t want to face what I’d done. But he pinched my chin and forced my eyes to his, dread twisting in my stomach like a nest of snakes.
“I forgive you.”
