Page 85 of The Lookback
“Amanda,” I say. “And Abigail.”
“You must have been devastated before they came back to live here.” His voice is quiet. “You’d lost Jed. You’d lost everything.”
Right. Jed. I lost my husband of decades. I sigh heavily, wishing I hadn’t made up that story to begin with, but if I hadn’t, he’d have come out here and told Jed I was in love with him. I couldn’t stomach the idea of him coming out for that, and a lie felt easier than telling TommyorJed how I felt.
I should tell him the truth now, though.
I know I should, but when I open my mouth to say that I was never married to Jed, my hands tremble. I run through what I’ll say in my mind as we walk. First, I’ll tell him that I didn’t want to force him to come back. I didn’t want him to be stressed about me, either. Then I’ll explain that when Jed died, it was just the loss of an estranged neighbor. Nothing more.
But I can’t do it. Tommy’s eyes are so bright, his expression so fond. He’s been reminiscing about a life I never had. He’s come to see an old friend he doesn’t know at all. Some things don’t change. He’s right about that.
Apparently, once a coward, always a coward.
“Mandy?” Dolores is watering her plants outside her strange little house, like usual. She must have dragged them inside when it snowed, and now they’re back out because the sun is here. The bright spots of fall color are actually pretty nice.
I raise my hand to wave.
“Who’s that with you?” She squints. “Is that. . .” Her jaw drops.
“Wait, little Dolores Gibbens?” Tommy asks. “Is that really you?”
“It’s Dolores Jenkins now,” she says. “Tommy, right? Tommy Collins, director of champions. I never thought I’d see you again in this sleepy little town. You were always destined for great things.”
“I suppose I’ll be a big disappointment then,” Tommy says. “I lived a quiet life, just not here in this particular small town.”
“Well, we missed your shining personality for all these years.” Her hose has been spraying on the same pot full of mums for nearly a minute now, and the water’s pooling and running over the side, taking a lot of potting soil with it. I could tell her, but I’m having too much fun watching her swoon over Tommy. “You sure aged well.” She’s eyeing him up and down like Jed the pig looks at a Thanksgiving turkey.
Tommy nods, trying to come up with something nice to say about her, I suspect. Poor Dolores looks a little unhinged, with her knit sweater, crocheted fingerless gloves, and a weird sort of open-topped hat, white hair careening out and down her back in all directions like the feathers of a cockatoo.
“Well, if you’re in town for a while, I’d love to get together and catch up,” Dolores says.
Which is funny, because she was years and years behind us in school. It’s an obvious ploy to snag a date. I can’t help a snort.
“Or, maybe not,” Dolores says. “You’re clearly busy already with Mandy.”
“He’s not,” I say. “I don’t know how long he’ll be around, but he won’t be busy with me. He just has to sign a few papers and our business will be done.”
“Ah, yes, Amanda Saddler, real estate mogul,” Dolores says. “While I’ve crocheted and gardened, Amanda has been busy, buying up everything that goes up for sale in a hundred miles.”
“You don’t say,” Tommy says. “I’m not sure I knew that.”
“Oh, yes,” Dolores says. “She’s the richest woman around here.”
“Really?” Tommy lifts his eyebrows. “A widow of means. Perhaps that’s why she’s been too busy to even call me lately.”
Dolores frowns and I realize that I have to shut this conversation down.
“Well, we better get going.”
“It has been a very long time,” Tommy says, “but I’m happy to have a bit of her time now, given how busy she is.”
“Busy?” Dolores asks. “Do you mean with her resort? She just started that?—”
This conversation is a ticking time bomb.
“I have a meeting later, actually. We should get going.” I drop one hand on Tommy’s elbow. “I’m sure you two can find a time to chat very soon.”
Dolores might even be a great match for Tommy. He said he was pretty lonely now that his wife has passed. If Dolores wouldn’t be sure to tell him all about Jed and my real past, I’d almost consider setting them up, but as it is. . . I steer him back toward the Gorge Grill and practically shove him at his car. That’s two near misses in less than two hours.
