Page 118 of The Surprise
“Can we talk for a second before we go inside?” His fingers, laced through mine, pull back gently. “It’s going to be loud in there.”
“Okay,” I say. “Did you change your mind?” Because I might die if he did. But he doesn’tlookupset or stressed.
“Not at all.” He bites his lip in a deliciously boyish way. “I just wanted to say something.”
“Go ahead.”
He tugs us around a corner and to the side of the main tent. There are people streaming past, but we’re sheltered from their view and hearing. “At first, I waited every minute, every hour, and every day to hear from you. But the more time that passed from when I told you I wanted to date you and when I promised I’d stand by your side, the more likely a negative response seemed.”
“I’m sorry, but—”
He presses one finger to my mouth, and a little thrill runs up my spine. I’d almost forgotten the feeling entirely. I kind of want to nip at his finger, but it feels. . .inappropriate somehow, so I don’t.
“In anticipation of being turned down again, I came up with a little speech. And now that you haven’t turned me down, I guess I don’t want it to go to waste.”
“I like your speeches.” I can’t help my smile.
“Well, then prepare to be dazzled.” Ethan looks down at his feet, embarrassed? Is he?
“I’m not teasing,” I say. “I really do like them.”
He looks up. “I learned something on the day my dad died.” He coughs. “That doesn’t sound like I thought it would. It sounds, I don’t know, kind of dire or something. But that was probably one of my darkest days, and I was dreading going into that building. I was scared, and I was lonely. It felt like no one else in the world would ever understand me like my dad did. And I was really broken. It felt like I’d never be whole or happy again.”
I hug him, then, pressing my face against his chest. I breathe him in, and I hope he can tell how sorry I am that he went through all of that.
“Beth.”
I back up enough to look at his face, but he keeps me close. “My mom held my hand that day, and she hugged me, and she smiled through her tears. I learned that no matter how scary the thing that you’re facing is, no matter how sad, no matter how hard, it’s better if you’re facing it with someone you love and trust.”
Oh.
“I know that your future has some big question marks, and I know that you’ll make the very best decisions that you can. No one can predict the future, and I can’t promise anything except that I will stand by your side and make the scary things less lonely as long as I possibly can.”
I’m not sure how long I hug him after that. It’s not hot. It’s not passionate. It’s comforting, and that’s exactly what I need. As we walk into the big striped tent, ready to celebrate someone who’s having a baby they want, a baby they’re going to keep, a baby who is half the mother and half the father’s DNA, I think about how profoundly the Brooks families have affected Manila in the last two years. They came in like a whirlwind, but they settled in like the support beams we didn’t know we needed.
Ever since I got the positive pregnancy test, I’ve hovered somewhere between wet-your-pants and heart-stops-dead levels of fear. But for the first time since that afternoon, I feel calm. I feel safe. I feel. . .ready to face an uncertain future. Because I’m not alone, and I trust that Ethan will stay by my side till the end, no matter what ending we write together.
And when life hits you with a surprise, that makes all the difference.
