Page 110 of The Surprise
Another guy.
And while I’m not about to start calling her Hester Prynne and acting like she’s some kind of evil woman, what does that say about her feelings for me? Maybe they aren’t as strong as mine are for her.
Or maybe she did it because she felt inadequate—certainly her words support that assumption.
But that kind of worries me, because I’ve consistently told her that I like her, that she’s great, and that I don’t think I’m better than her, but if she never believes me, then where will that leave us in the future? I don’t need to forgive her for this, but I don’t want to spend my life cleaning up after someone who keeps doing dumb things because she thinks I’m going to leave her eventually.
Did Mom get to me? Did she confuse me?
Or was she right?
Without even thinking about where I was going, I realize I’ve driven to Steve’s. It’s probably the place I drive to the most, other than maybe the True Value in Manila.
But coming here was stupid.
He’s not my dad. He didn’t go through this situation, and he’s probably busy, working on a horse. His truck’s here, but when he’s here, he’s working. My dad was always a bit of a workaholic, and now my stepdad’s the same. I suppose the kind of person who would fall for my mom is someone who values hard work. It makes sense.
I put the truck in reverse, but before I can back out, I see someone waving from the corner of my eye. Someone near the barn. Someone who’s now walking toward me.
My stepdad’s pretty cool.
He’s tall. He’s in great shape for an old guy. And he’s funny. He’s also really smart. I guess he’s what my mom would want me to emulate. Someone who went to college and then grad school and then a residency and then also works in the outdoors with his hands. But I’m not like him with horses, a skill he started learning when he was a very young boy from his grandfather, and I’m not big on studying, either.
Actually, I’m not sure why Beth thinks I’m so great. I’m none of the things people inmyfamily think are amazing.
We’re more like two toads than a toad and a robin.
“Ethan?” Steve’s close enough for me to hear him.
“Sorry.” I crank the window knob around and around until the window rolls down. “I’m not sure why I’m here.”
Steve’s half smile is wry. “Why don’t you get out and we can try and figure that out.”
I will give him this. He never rushes people.
“I’m sure you’re working with your horses. It’s fine.”
Steve drops his dirty hand on the window frame. “I’m not too busy to talk to you. I’m never too busy for that.”
“So, when you’re on shift, I should just come on by?”
He laughs. “I mean, I might not be able to talk very long when I’m working a shift.”
The ER gets wild, and he manages it all really well. Really calmly, too. Maybe he would be okay to hear about this. When I get out, Steve heads for the house.
“Maybe we should talk in the barn,” I say. “I’m sure you’ve got things to do—I can help with them. And then you won’t get things inside your house all dirty.”
Steve nods, and I can tell he appreciates it. There’s always work that needs to be done in a barn. Always.
“I was moving feed over. Want to help?”
With as many horses as he has, he’s constantly moving the feed out of the bags and into sealing containers to keep bugs and pests away from it. “Sure.”
“Then I’ve got some hay to rearrange because we’ve got another cut coming.” Steve arches an eyebrow. “Is this a grain transfer kind of conversation? Or a grain transfer, hay moving, and barn clean-up length talk?”
I snort. “Not sure.”
He nods. “Well, let’s find out. What’s on your mind?”
