Page 100 of Clint & Ivy
Zodiac shrugged. “It’s probably time for his afternoon nap. Retirement has made him lazy and given him a pot belly.”
I lifted my shot of whiskey to Zodiac. “Well, here’s to us living long enough to know such luxuries.”
Zodiac raised his shot glass and nodded at my words. We downed the whiskey and settled back into our chairs. Over the next half hour, we shared greasy wings and information on the Void.
By the time our two clubs went their separate ways, I knew a few things. One was Zodiac wanted to fuck my sister. Two was Tricky needed to join this alliance since his VP’s grandfather might be the reason a top Void asshole was gunning for Little Memphis.
IVY
Clint dropped me offat his family’s home before he rode off with Elle, Rowdy, and Sabrina for a club errand. Earlier, I heard Rock say others would meet them near the highway. I sensed a dozen people were going with them. What kind of “errand” needed so much manpower?
“It’s best not to worry about the details,” Shay told me as I stood on her porch, holding the pink helmet. “I grew up rough. I was tough for a chick, I guess. But the shit Ford and Pax used to face was beyond me. When I fought scary assholes, I was reacting to danger. But the people in the club go looking for trouble. They track down monsters to make them pay. I couldn’t do that, and I assume you couldn’t, either. That’s why we shouldn’t think about it.”
“But don’t you want to fully understand Ford’s life?”
“I did in the beginning, sure. But there’s a burden carried by people like Ford and Clint. When Ford came home from whatever he faced, he wanted to leave all his pain, fear, and rage at the door. He had to be able to create a safe space away from everything bad in the world. He can never truly have that with Pax because they shared difficult childhoods and their jobs. But with me, my brothers, and his kids, Ford could be soft and vulnerable.”
Shay’s words seemed so obvious. Clint wanted me to know his people and feel a part of that world. But he also wanted a place where he could leave trouble at the door. He was a complex man with one eye always searching for danger, even when he was walking around with me and his tiny dog.
Shay took the helmet inside and got her purse ready to leave. Hobbs and Ford were chilling near the lake. Bebe would be here soon. I felt relaxed with my current situation, but couldn’t help worrying about Clint.
“I guess I thought by not asking questions that I was being weak,” I explained as we sat on the porch and waited for Bebe. “That might be my biggest fear. Weakness kept me locked in the mansion for my entire life. Most people would have rebelled and broken free.”
“Don’t be so sure,” Shay said, sitting next to me on the bench. “We’re all programmed by our upbringings. I put up with a lot of shit before coming to Little Memphis. It’s how women did things where I was from. The men in your life were the ones making the choices. A woman submitted to his scraps or got lucky with a good man who offered you the world. But you, the woman, had very little to say about how things turned out.”
Shay shrugged. “I tried to be tough when I got here. It was a different time in Little Memphis. More dangerous in a hundred different ways. The men who once controlled this town were cold inside. They didn’t care about what their people did unless it cost them money. I could have easily been swallowed up here, but I was lucky.”
When Shay smiled at her words, I knew she was talking about the man who brought her here.
“I was a moron to trust Lucky. Who’d think a man I met at a strip club wouldn’t be a creep? But without him, I’d never have any of this,” she said and gestured around at her home. “I met Darby because of him and found a home. The job he got me led to my friendship with Bebe. I was hanging out at the club’s bar when I met Ford and Pax. Without Lucky, you and I wouldn’t be sitting here now.”
There were still so many people in Clint’s life that I knew through stories, yet hadn’t met. Shaking my head, I realized it’d been less than two weeks since I jumped on the back of a motorcycle and rode away with a stranger. I felt like I’d lived a lifetime in that time.
“Some people get lucky and some don’t,” Shay continued. “You can’t always know if you’re making good choices. But here in Little Memphis, I found options and made the best of them. That’s what you’re doing now. But you also think you need to make up for the years you felt trapped. I can’t say you’re wrong to feel that way. But I do worry you’ll be so focused on making up for lost time that you’ll miss the fun.”
Sighing, I nodded. “I do have a million checklists in my head, telling me how I’m behind on living. I don’t know why I’m in such a hurry. A month ago, I was locked away at home, living through my shows, movies, and books. I’ve lived more in two weeks than in twenty-three years. I think I’m afraid that if I get too comfortable, I’ll stop pushing myself. Deep down, I worry Clint will find me boring and walk away.”
