I’ve been fine on my own. But Carly…
I don’t know. It’s like she’s shining a light on the dark places in my soul and not flinching away. I don’t understand how she’s doing it.
When she comes in, I’m finishing washing up.
“What’s that smell?” she asks, practically skipping into the kitchen. She has a huge grin on her face, and yet again, I’m drawn to her smile.
She shrugs off her coat, and I try my hardest not to notice the way her T-shirt clings to her body, the way it leaves me no doubt about the way her hips curve and the ampleness of her bust. I’m just glad she isn’t wearing something with cleavage.
I feel bad to admit it, but I would look. How could I not?
She flings her long hair over her shoulder and skips over to me. “You’ve cooked?”
“Bolognese,” I say. “It was nothing, really.”
“You didn’t have to,” she says, a broken record. “I don’t mind if you don’t want to look after me.”
“I’ve started now,” I say gruffly. “Why would I stop?” It’s too much like a truth, so before she can say anything, I say, “It’s ready. Go to the living room. I’ll bring it through.”
Her lips waver. Her plush, pink lips. She must use some sort of gloss or lipstick because they shine, catching the light, drawing me in towards them. My heart thumps in my chest, and I turn away to put all my attention back to the food on the stove.
This is so inappropriate. I’ve invited her into my home. The last thing she wants is for me to be a creep.
Without a word, she obeys, and I plate up dinner. I bring it through with a bottle of wine and show it to her. “A glass, madam?”
“Please. That would be great.”
As I pour the drinks out, I ask, “How were Ruth and John?”
“Totally uncomplicated,” she says.
I sit beside her, leaving less of a gap than perhaps I should. From here I can smell her perfume, lavender and citrus. I stare down into my bowl so I can stop my thoughts from running away with me.
“This is going to be the easiest wedding I’ve planned in years. I’m so excited for them. They do have a vision, really. It just takes an expert to draw it out of people.”
“They’re good people,” I tell her. “I’ve known them forever.”
“They said you were always trying to get them together.”
I should have known that those two would tell Carly all about me. I shouldn’t have left her alone with them.
“I was, a little,” I admit. “But I never convinced them. And then I left for the Air Force. I only came back when… well, it was a few years ago. This isn’t interesting. Tell me more about the wedding.”
“So, you do care?” she teases.
I grunt. If she’s going to start talking like this, I’m going to have to change the subject again. “How’s the food?” With this question, I do turn to look at her because I want her honest reaction.
“It’s fabulous,” she says, and as she turns to look at me, I feel myself lost under her blue-eyed gaze.
The power of her look makes me feel like I’m being searched and found wanting, or perhaps like I’m being searched and wanted. It’s hard to tell between my own confused feelings and what she’s actually projecting to me. We’re so close now, leaning in, almost like some sort of magnet is working between us.
Surely, it’s too soon to be attracted to her for real.
Besides, I haven’t exactly made it easy for her to be attracted to me. There’s not a whole lot of me to be attracted to, emotionally anyway, and physically, there’s more of me than I would like.
“Super tasty.” Her voice is so soft that I have to lean more to hear what she’s saying, and I can almost feel her breath on my face. I let my eyes dart down to her lips, and they’re so inviting, so wanting, that I lean in a little further, and when she doesn’t pull back, an impulse overcomes me, and I press my lips to hers.
She stiffens completely at the kiss, and I draw straight back, putting a space between us. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I don’t know what came over me. I shouldn’t have done that.”
