Page 10 of Falling for Her
She showed everyone the person I’ve known for years and gave me the perfect excuse to end things with her.
Don’t get me wrong, Scar has been trying to convince me to get back with Beth, but that will never happen. After she fucked some college student yesterday, caught on CCTV, Butcher can’t say fuck all because it looks like she disrespected me, which is his own fucking fault. As far as I’m concerned, it’s his karma for going behind my back and trying to force more on me than we spoke about.
My lovely Pres and father decided to order an old lady cut for Bethany last year and claimed I requested it.
I fucking didn’t.
She celebrated, telling the whole club I was going to claim her once I patched in while I hit the roof and threatened to expose everything Butch and my father if they ever brought it up again, but right now, it’s come in my defense to ensure no brother can encourage me to take her back.
“So you and Bethany huh?” Bear says out of nowhere, and I swallow hard.
I don’t want to lie to him but honestly, how does someone tell a brother that my patch was threatened if I didn’t tame the club princess and that my own father also went along with the Pres’ plans for me so that Bethany can get her way?
How do I explain that I did fuck all to receive this kind of treatment from them and that I always, fucking always put the club first only to have it thrown back in my face?
How the fuck do I explain that they ordered an old lady cut behind my back?
I clear my throat and mumble, “We broke up a few months ago,” while continuing to shade the eagle not looking up, refusing to.
He hums, then admits, “Yet not once did you look at that girl like she was everything to you before you started dating. I mean, if I remember correctly, she pissed you off daily because she always tried to hang off you even when you were a small boy, telling everyone that one day she was going to marry you and have your cut.”
I lift the gun off his arm with a sigh and look at him, knowing he’s not stupid. His bushy eyebrow is raised, and his light blue eyes are serious – I’m caught.
“Pres and Dad asked for a word two years ago while I was helping Bullet train for a fight,” I admit. He tilts his head, and I tell the truth, “Bethany was off the rails, and the more Louise got upset, the more pissed Pres got. A plan formed in his head when he saw Bethany’s infatuation with me or so he told me,” I lick my bottom lip as Bear furrows his brows.
I admit, “He said if I didn’t date his daughter and help calm her down then I couldn’t be a patched brother and would no longer be allowed on any club property meaning I’d be homeless all while my father stood behind me not saying a word.”
Bear's face reddens, and he snaps, “He fucking sold you to his daughter?!”
I nod once, then state, “It doesn’t matter now because we’re done. She fucked up and showed her true colors allowing me to end things when she turned on Scar, but as for my place within the club, I-I, fuck,” I look down and shake my head before looking back at a man I look up to and admit, “I don’t know if I want to be a brother anymore,” and his eyes widen, “I always thought, yes this is the life I wanted, but when your own father and a man you saw as family turns on you just for a spoiled little girl, well, it makes you re-evaluate things. They betrayed me, had my life, my feelings put at the bottom of their priorities after everything I’ve done for the club, even now.”
Bear shakes his head, runs a hand through his long brown hair, and asks, “Are they still pressuring you to take her back?”
I sigh and confirm, “Yeah, they are,” and he curses, but I continue, “Last year, Pres had a cut made for her against my knowledge and told her about it before even telling me. She spread the word that she was going to be my old lady once I had patched in. I nearly hit the man I saw as an uncle being held back by my father. For months they’ve been telling me to take her back, that Scar also wants it, but I dug my heels in, and then yesterday she finally messed up and fucked someone else which I managed to broadcast to the whole club.”
“She disrespected you, knowing there was a cut made to be your old lady,” he summarizes. I nod once, and he continues, “Meaning that gives you an out.”
I shrug and dip more ink in the needle and mumble, “It hasn’t stopped them from trying to convince me otherwise, though, and I just don’t understand why they keep pressuring me to do this, but the more they pressure me, the more likely I’ll be handing my cut in and leaving. I’ve already saved up from years of helping here though with Hammer owning the majority of the shop, I know I can just move in the apartment above…”
I continue shading the eagle as he sighs, “You’re not our fun-loving Jokester anymore, are you,” but I don’t answer him because I’m not, heck, I don’t even think I’m a brother.
I’ve missed out on a lot because of Dad and Butch, a hell of a lot.
Girls, parties, fun runs, club BBQs, and family meals were all missed because of Bethany and their decisions. Fuck, I didn’t even have a celebration for graduation because they wanted a joint party and Bethany tried to turn it into an engagement party despite the shit she caused with Scar and I don’t know how I can do this anymore.
“Fuck,” Bear mutters, laying his head back when I don’t answer him, and I hum because yeah fuck.
I sigh as I climb off my bike and stretch. Two fucking hours it took for me to finish Bear’s tat, which was done in silence once he realized I was questioning my place within the club, and now my back hurts. I’m hungry, and I know when I walk into that clubhouse, I’m about to be bombarded by my mother because I never go home for meals and then Bethany, but I don’t have anywhere else to go. I don’t have a place on club land. I mean, I have a lot near Bullet’s place because I’ll be VP, but I haven’t allowed anyone to build on it, and Hammer is still trying to get the apartment fixed up above the tat shop, an apartment that he owns and said I could stay in believing I just want to better myself at the shop, so the clubhouse is the only place I can go.
“Fuck my life,” I mutter and walk over to the door and walk in and without looking up, I descend the stairs, my sole focus – the kitchen, then my room and if I don’t make eye contact with anyone then I may just make it.
I manage to walk just past the bar, and my hope builds that I’ll miss everyone I don’t want to see but I groan when I hear, “Damian baby…”
Son of a…
“Bethany, you are to call him Jokester, you know this!” my mama snaps, and I turn round and come face to face with my ex. Her face is caked with makeup, nothing natural about her look and right now in her mini skirt and basically a bra, she’s giving the clubwhores – women who work for the club and like to fuck – a run for their money.
Bethany sniffles at my mother’s sneer and lets a few tears fall making my mother flinch, but I scowl, seeing right through them.
