Hannah arrives a little while after. I try to ignore the memories of that girl when I look at her youthful face and instead ask about Skyler’s life and school. He’s been notably struggling with math this year, and it frustrates him more than he lets on. Thankfully, Hannah’s been with us long enough to be the only other person besides me to really help him and get through to him.
Right now, she may be closer to him than me…
Her constant care and help gives Sky the best shot at having the most functional, normal life he can. It’s the only reason guilt doesn’t eat me alive for neglecting being at home and working instead. Homecare workers, special education classes, and doctor appointments are all possible only thanks to that.
No matter my dirty conscience, it’s all worth it.
?
When I get to work later, the place is pretty dead. I’m not sure why exactly I’ve been instructed to come so early, but I make my way to Jasper’s office like I was told to.
The door is wide open, which is nothing unusual. A few of the guys sit on the fancy armchairs by the wall and others stand near Jasper’s table, chatting. It sometimes feels like a bunch of them basically live here. They seem to be around no matter the time.
Knocking at the door frame to announce myself, I walk in and bow my head in respect.
“There he is!” Jasper rejoices, standing up from his chair. He appears to be in a good mood today. There have been days when he’s more quiet, in a slightly menacing way that makes me nervous. When he’s all theatrical and talkative, he’s easier to predict.
As the guys turn to look at me, they move away from the table, revealing a sturdy black box. Right away, a subtle alarm somewhere at the back of my head goes off.
“What’s this about?” I ask, not showing much concern or interest.
“Your job,” Jasper says, slapping his hand on the top of it. “Not something I can just send through the post, so… I need you to personally deliver this to one Ringwood Company in Brooks. Drop it at the reception. Only a couple of hours from here. Shouldn’t take you too long. You’ll find the address in the car’s GPS.”
The silence, paired with the strangely attentive looks of everyone around me, makes me even more nervous, but I step toward the table, keeping it cool. There’s a note on top, saying it’s meant for the president of the corporation.
When I glance up at Jasper, his striking blue eyes await me. A smirk on his face gives me the creeps.I don’t like this.
“Surely, you’re curious about what’s in there,” he says, excitement buzzing behind his words like he can’t wait to show me. Everyone else is, too. Or rather…they can’t wait to seemyreaction, it seems. “Go on. Have a peek.” He turns the box around so that the hinges are facing him. I already know this won’t be good.
Damn right it’s not going to be flowers or chocolates.
Hesitating will make me come across as weak, so I reach for the clamps, popping them open. With my breath held, I slowly lift the lid. Inside the cushioned and air-tight lining of the container is a hand. A forearm cut cleanly about in the middle.
My heart takes up a panicked tempo, pounding in my throat. With all my focus, I separate my genuine reaction and the connection to my face, staring at it blankly, unable to look away. Judging by the nails and the size of it, it must be a female’s hand. And there…is a small tattoo right above the wrist. A butterfly.
I can’t be sure, but I think I glimpsed that tattoo…on the girl yesterday.
Youaresure. You know it’s her.
More feelings flood my chest like a crushing wave, so I blink sharply and clench my jaw. With a slow, careful breath, I shut the box and look up at Jasper. “Anything else?” I ask, almost impressed by how steady I manage to keep my voice, even while I feel close to throwing up.
He’s testing me. They’re all testing me. Of course they are. Icannotafford to fail.
The smirk slowly disappears from his lips, shifting into a more neutral expression. I’m not the only one capable of hiding my real thoughts—clearly, there’s something behind his eyes, but he doesn’t let me know. Is he happy with my reaction? Disappointed? Either way, he nods and cocks his brow.
“That’s all. You’re dismissed,” he says while sitting back down in his chair like nothing happened. “Take a lunch break or whatever after, but be sure to be here by six. I have somewhere to be.”
I grab the box, putting it under my arm. Still feeling everyone’s gaze on me, I leave the room, knowing damn well they’ll all talk about me once I’m gone.
All I can hear as I head for the car is the galloping of my heart. My cheeks burn, and I hope they don’t look flush. The box feels heavy. Far too heavy for what it is. Or maybe exactly because of what it is. It’s cold, too. My stupid mind makes it so, playing tricks on me, torturing me.
Sometimes I wish I could be like them. That I could really turn it all off, or not feel in the first place. To be able to live in this world without shame and guilt would be a blessing.
But I can’t.
When I pop it on the passenger seat next to me, my stomach twists. I stare at the box, pressing my lips together, my breath shaky now that no one’s looking. Underneath my leather gloves, my fingers are freezing cold, so I rub them against each other, just sitting for a few moments until I get a grip on myself.
‘She could still be alive’, my brain tries to find ways to soothe me, but I know better. Even if she is, she won’t be for long. Thisgiftis a threat. And something tells me that this person—regardless of who they are, and however they vexed Jasper or stood in his way—they’re not seeing this girl again, either, whoever she was to them.
