Page 85 of The Faking Game
“No, I’m using affirmative boundary-setting! It’s a tool my therapist and I have been working on.”
“What did you call it?”
“Affirmative boundary-setting, and I know you heard me the first time.”
He chuckles again. I like the sound more than I should. “I did. See, that’s good. You calling me out. And you don’t need to affirm someone before drawing a boundary.”
“Sometimes I do. It’s very helpful, actually, especially with people I care about.” I take a step forward, looking out the window. The ocean is calm today. A perfectly shiny surface. “It makes me feel less awful.”
He’s quiet for a beat. “Right. But do you care about a random guy asking you out?”
“Maybe,” I say. “But maybe… I just want to make sure he doesn’t get too disappointed. Or mad at me.”
“Do they get mad?” His voice drops, and there’s an undercurrent of irritation in it. “Have you ever experienced that?”
“Once or twice. I mean, not angryangry,but yeah.”
“Fuck them,” he says. “If being kind when you refuse makes you feel better, then do that. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to. You don’t owe me anything, all right? I’m just an asshole you’ve been on a single date with, who’s annoying you to get you to say yes. We’ll go again.”
We do it three more times, and each time he asks, I tell him what I’d like to do instead.No, I don’t want to go out to dinner. Let’s go for a walk next weekend instead.It’s a constant negotiation. And on the final attempt, I tell him that I’m only interested in being friends.
West chuckles. “Even then, you can’t help yourself, can you?”
“What? I turned you down completely! I’m good at that!”
“Yes, but you still offered friendship. Do you want to be friends with me?”
“You you, or fake you?”
“Fake me,” he says.
“No.”
“Right. So don’t offer anything. You’ve told me you worry about living up to expectations. But you can also be the one to set them.”
I close my eyes. “Right. If I’m brave enough.”
“You are brave.” Another nugget of praise. I tuck it away, fold it into the warmth of my chest. There’s a voice behind him, closer than the background noise. It sounds urgent. “Damn. I have to go.”
“Your adoring fans are calling.”
“I have to give a speech.”
“Do you have that memorized, too?”
“I’m going to wing it,” he says with the perfect confidence I so envy. “And Nora?”
“Yes?”
“Iampicking you up tomorrow night. We’re practicing another date. Our last one was…”
“I failed at it. I know.”
“You didn’t fail. It wasn’t a test, but it was informative,” he says. “We’ll do it again.”
“Okay.”
He hesitates for a second. “Stay safe.”
