“It’s fine.”
The tension between us is thick. It fills the air, making my lungs feel heavy and stiff. Things feel…awkward. I sort through the tangle of thoughts, trying to find a way to fix this.
“We don’t have to stay long,” he says, facing straight ahead.
My eyes trail over the many Magi in the field, drinking and laughing. Many of them are our age, out here mingling and having a good time. Would Sitri be out there with them, having a good time if he didn’t have me here? This thorn in his side. “What would you be doing if I wasn’t here?”
He shrugs. “This, probably.”
“Really?”
“Really.”
“Didn’t you used to have friends?”
He spares me a strained glance. Like he wants to say things but can’t. My brows shoot up, and then I slump down my chin to my palm as I realize. “You’re not going to talk to me, are you?”
I used to have—He starts saying the words in my ear but then says, “Oh, fuck this,” out loud as he draws a series of symbols with his hands.
“What are you doing?”
He’s silent until he finishes weaving the spell, and then he turns to me. “Putting up a sound ward so I can fucking talk to you.”
“Oh. Because you don’t want people…to overhear?”
“I don’t want Morin or her fucking gooneys to overhear.”
“Right.”
“I used to have friends,” he says with a sigh.
I wait for him to go on but he leaves it at that, staring straight ahead again. “Did you put up a sound ward to tell me you used to have friends?”
He lets out the slightest breath of a laugh. “No.”
I continue to wait and he continues to say nothing. He turns and looks at me, mouth curling into a grin I feel twist my chest. “I guess I was hoping you would keep pestering me with questions.”
“You want me to?”
“Yes,” the word is muffled as he bites at the side of his lip.
I wrack my brain, trying to find a safe territory. “Would you be out there swindling a woman back to your bed if I wasn’t here?” My regret is swift. That’s not safe territory, and the way the words pop out so bitterly is completely contradictory to my current stance. Things cannotbebetween us.
His shoulders tense slightly. “No.”
“No?”
“No, pet.”
I’m not sure I believe him, but I’m not about to press him further, especially when…I have no reason to even ask. “Okay, well, what happened to your friends?”
He shrugs. “I got rid of them.”
“Why?”
He shoots me a nervous glance, looks away and meets my gaze with trepidation. “It would…. endanger them.”
My lips part. “Because of Morin?” I whisper.
