“What problem?”
“What if it goes wrong…or what if he…I don’t know!” I say, tossing up my hands with indignation.
She rolls her eyes again. “You’re literally already married.”
“I know! That’s what’s so bad about it because we’re going to be married no matter what, and what if he…what if heislike this with everyone? Or if it goes wrong…”
Her grin fades as understanding creeps into her eyes. “Fear shouldn’t stop you from living, Pandora.”
Living. That’s what I want, isn’t it? My shoulders sag. “What should I do?”
“Well, you could stop pretending you hate him?”
I bury my face in my hands with a groan. “I don’t know how.”
When I lift my head, she has a mischievous gleam in her eye. “Flirt with him.”
“I definitely don’t know how to do that!” I complain.
She forms a symbol with her hand and a vine of grapes floats over from across the kitchen. “Next time he tries to feed you…you could…” She plucks a grape from the vine between her forefinger and thumb, plops it into her mouth, and sucks on her fingers from knuckle to tip.
My jaw drops. “If you think I’m doing that, you’re insane!” I hiss.
She melts into a pile of quivering laughter, and I reluctantly follow.
“No,” she says once she’s caught her breath. “Seriously, just, you know, smile at him? Laugh at his jokes? Get close to him.”
“Close to him…” I repeat warily.
“Yeah, close. Touch him and stuff.”
I grimace, and she laughs again. “You don’t have to, like grab his dick—“
“Vera,” I groan. I look toward the door, paranoid Sitri’s going to come barging in at any moment.
“—Just, you know, sit close to him, purposely bump into him, things like that.”
I shake my head. “I don’t think I know how to do that.”
“It’s not like it’s hard!”
“It is forme.”
She releases a bedraggled sigh but it’s true I’ve been so closeted my entire life I have no ideahow to live.
I’m right to beparanoid when Sitri returns only half an hour later. A tendril of nervousness pulses through me in regards to Vera and I’s conversation, but his expression is somber as he says, “I’m sorry, pet, it turns out I have to go.”
My disappointment is thick. Being in the kitchens is a much-needed reprieve, and I didn’t even get an hour down here.
“I’m sorry,” he says again when he sees my disappointment.
He leads me back to his chambers and lingers for a brief moment, like there’s something he wants to say before he turns and filters out the door without a word.
The day is long, listless, and lonely. I keep thinking about what Vera had said.You can’t let fear stop you from living.I adamantly hope Sitri will return in time to at least go eat in the kitchens for dinner. That hope is vanquished when Vera brings up my plate. We hold a brief conversation through the door, and then I retreat back to Sitri’s bed and continue reading in the grimoire, currently, working through a list of magical creatures.
It’s only a short while later that I finally hear Sitri’s footsteps coming down the hallway. The door opens and shuts. Something about his movements sounds unusual to me. “Sitri?” There’s no answer, and my heart trills.
I creep into the living area and halt in my path when I see the way he’s bracing himself against the table, breathing labored. “S-sitri?”
