“No, I’m not. I…really, really needed this,” I say, squeezing her shoulder. “But if Sitri doesn’t get some sleep, he’s probably going to stroke out soon. We’ll be back. I’ll make him bring me back.”
The daemon has settled enough I don’t even feel paranoid about pulling her into a tight embrace. “Don’t cry anymore,” I plead.
“Okay,” she says meekly.
Sitri’s right where I left him, wearing an expression that’s oddly…troubled until he notices my entry and it clears. “Haven’t collapsed yet, I see.”
“Any time now,” he sighs, pushing himself to his feet.
This time, with the aid of wine, I barely even react to the thirty heads that lift in our direction as we make our way through the dining hall. We walk part of the way in silence. When I cast a furtive glance in his direction he has that remorseful look on his face again. His eyes snag against mine and I quickly look away.
“I bet Vera has filled you in on a lot of nice things about me,” he says bitterly.
My lips shape into an unspokenoh. With everything going on I’d completely forgotten about all the things Vera confided in me hours ago. But now that he’s mentioned it and standing here in front of me…
He makes a sound through his teeth, turning his head toward the opposite wall.
“Pretty presumptuous of you to think we discussed you at all,” I smart. It’s too late. He’s already seen it flashing across my face.
“Well, you are still here,” he grumbles with a wave of his hand. “Don’t appear to be running away and screaming.”
I halt. “You really thought I was going to try and escape again?”
“If you weren’t before I’m sure you will be now,” he mutters under his breath.
“Sitri.” He stops and slowly turns to face me. “I’m really sorry about your parents. I…didn’t realize it was so recent.”
He immediately turns around and continues walking. “Hey! I’m trying to talk to you!” I chase after him. He doesn’t even as much as slow. “Is this really what you’re all bothered about? What? That I’ll find out about your sparkling reputation and hate you again? As if you haven’t already hinted to me as much.”
I snort. “As if I didn’t watch you carve a man’s heart from his chest with my own eyes. Why do you even—“ I break off as I position myself in front of him, halting him in his path. He looks…vulnerable. It’s so out of character my eyes keep flitting over his face to make sure I’m not imagining it.
I see him, then.
All of it clicks into place and my world here of being locked in his chambers, shifts. Under the cockiness, the posturing, the flirting is maybe just a lonely man who’s lost everyone and everything. Who’s maybe as chained as I am. Who maybe has just as many scars as I have. I trace his forehead to his jaw where I know that scar remains under his glamour.
She has a hold over him.A man in a situation I can’t even begin to comprehend. “Why do you even care what I think?” I ask, curiously.
His eyes flicker to mine for a brief second before veering off again, shoulders sagging. “I don’t have…you’re…I’ve worked very hard to try and gain your trust and…” He lifts a palm in a struggle for words.
“You know Vera was crying because she thought she’d never see us again?” A tense wrinkle forms between his eyes. “She’s not trying to turn me against you, Sitri. She cares about you.”
He looks both pained and confused. I know if I badger him for answers right now, I won’t get them. He doesn’t know that he’s already earned my trust. Has proven it to me again and again. But what have I done to earn his? What have I done to make him feel comfortable sharing himself with me? Maybe it's the wine in my veins dulling the daemon to where I can breathe for once but I…want that.
“I guess that is the one plus side about my being here. There’s no one around for you to question about my reputation.” My daemon curse reputation. There’s a flash of surprise in his eyes before he snorts. I arch a brow.
“What could you have done? Forget your morning prayers? Dare to look in the direction of a…man,” he gasps.
I pace backward. “You know what? I think I’ve changed my mind after all. I’ll go see if Vera can get me out of here because there’s absolutely no way I can stay here with your arrogant and assuming…prickly and insufferable,” I list off, still pacing backward a challenge in my eyes.
He watches me through hooded eyelids. I see it the moment it clicks for him. He sees what I’m offering. Acceptance. His face goes from surprised to…pleased and back to supercilious. I scoff under my breath. That didn’t take long.
“Demeaning, arrogant…” I continue.
“You already said arrogant.”
“That was for a reason!”
His laugh is a light, pleasant sound. “You’re not going to win, pet.”
