Page 83 of Bound By Threads
But I don’t.
Instead, I do the most insane thing I’ve ever done. I speak the truth.
“I killed him because I hated what I became the day I realized I didn’t protect you. It broke something in me knowing what he did to you… You died, and I?—”
“You don’t get to say that,” she snaps. “You don’t get to act like you were the one who lost something. I lost my voice, my safety, my name. I had to die to get away from it all, and now here you all are demanding answers like you have any fucking right.”
“I know,” I murmur. “I know. Your death wrecked me, Mouse…”
I shuffle forward on my knees, bowing my head.
“I was feral with grief, and I didn’t know how to deal with losing you…” I grip her hand in mine, feeling its warmth and the way her pulse flutters in my palm. “I wanted to be near you even in death. If I had been allowed, I would’ve held your body against mine until you rotted through my fingers. And I wouldn’t have let go until we were both nothing but bones.”
Her breath stutters,
“But I’m alive.”
I nod, still on my knees, head bowed like a sinner at an altar.
“You are,” I breathe, “It’s why I keep demanding answers from you. I need to convince myself you’re real. That I haven’t imagined you back into existence, I can see you, but two years is a long time to grieve, wishing you were alive and knowing I had no power to do anything to bring you back.”
The warmth of her body brushes against mine, and I swear time slows. For a second, I think my words have been enough to get through to her, to get her to forgive me.
Maybe the way I’m trembling is enough.
Maybe she can see that I’m already ruined.
But then her fingers curl under my chin.
“Look at me,” she demands.
I do. Slowly.
Her eyes are wild—not with rage, but something colder. Resolved. The kind of fury that doesn’t shout, but cuts you to the core.
“Open your mouth.”
I hesitate, confused.
“Do it!” she snaps.
I do.
She spits right into my mouth. I don’t flinch.
“Swallow.”
I do because this is the girl I failed, and she’s giving me one of the last things I gave her.
“Good boy…” she looks down at me. “I remember every time you humiliated me. Every time you used my silence as a weapon against me. Every time you reminded me, I was below you. Now look at you, Elijah, on your knees for the ice queen who shut you all out like you didn’t build those walls yourself.”
Her hand drops from my face, but the weight of her words lingers.
“I know what my revenge is now.” Lottie takes a step back. “It’s not a punishment because that would imply I cared.”
“What is it?” I whisper, my voice hoarse.
“Forgetfulness. I’m going to get revenge on the other two, but we’re done now. You don’t get to haunt me like some tragic story. I’m going to forget you even exist because it’s going to wreck you… And the best part is I don’t have to do anything else.”
