Page 32 of Bound By Threads
My father’s cold eyes follow us as we walk out, the door shutting softly behind us. Crew opens his mouth to speak, but I shake my head. “Not here.”
We walkin silence down the hallway, the weight of my father’s orders pressing down on me. Crew’s footsteps echo, his usual confidence subdued, and I narrow my eyes at his back, worrying that he’s highagain.
Elijah walks ahead, his posture rigid, his mind clearly elsewhere, and no longer the boy he was before he murdered his father.
I can feel Crew’s eyes on me as we approach the door, but I don’t look at him. Too scared that I’ll see his blown pupils staring back at me. I need a minute to breathe before I feel like I need to deal with yet another problem, and to try to attempt to push back the anger that’s threatening to burst out of me.
Seven days. Seven damn days to tie up any loose ends in this state before we’re sent away to whatever place he wants us to go for however long he wants us there, play nice with my father’s plan, and keep my own business under the radar to try to save me and my friends from being under his thumb forever.
It feels like a trap, but what else is new?
I swing open the garage door, and we step out into the cool air. The sound of the city hums in the distance, but right now, it feels miles away. I light a cigarette and take a drag, the smoke filling my lungs and offering a brief moment of peace.
Crew leans against my car, his arms crossed. “You okay, Roman?”
I flick the ash away, my eyes narrowing. “Yeah. I’m fine. Are you?”
It’s a lie. I’m anything but fine.
My father’s ultimatum is like a cage closing in around me. I’m being sent off to do his dirty workagain, pretend the men beside me aren’t falling apart, and act like a team while secretly I’ve been making moves behind his back. Pacheco’s deal—one that can save us all—was supposed to be the start of my way out. Loyalty against the families once I take my father down, my ticket to freedom. But now? Now, I have to wait while I pretend to be the dutiful son, the loyal soldier.
“I’m fine.” Crew replies with a slight tone of defensiveness. He picks at his fingernails as I stare at him, a nervous habit he’s developed in the last two years.
I meet his eyes, trying to keep my voice steady and calm, and push down the anger threatening to build. “I need you to keep your head in the game. Don’t let him see anything, and no getting high.”
Crew nods, his lips curling into a half-smile that even I know is fake as his eyes flick to the left, avoiding mine. “Don’t worry.”
“We do worry that’s the problem,” Elijah snarks, his voice hoarse from disuse. He rarely spoke before, much preferring actions to words, but nowadays, it’s almost as if he’s mute, seeing no point in using words when she isn’t here for him to taunt.
I glance at him, my mind racing. Elijah’s angry. He’s always angry about something, especially since my father bailed him out of jail, making deals to get him free and then using it to make him his pawn. Something Elijah tried to prevent by killing his dad, only to end up under my father’s thumb. He’s pissed about the deal I made with Pacheco, but I had no choice, not when the promise of him backing me against the other families is too high. He’s also pissed about the life we’ve been forced into, not that I can blame him, but it’s the burden of our DNA, and we have no other choice. I know there’s no way he’s going to be happy about our newesttask,but we have to do it.
“You haven’t really given us any other choice but to,” I say, flicking ash.
Crew’s expression darkens just like it always does when he gets defensive. “I’m not fucking high.”
“Not yet, but you will be by the end of the night.” I retort, unable to help myself. We’ve tried getting him help, offering him the best rehabs in the US, but he’s too indebted to my father that he won’t do anything that will risk what we have planned, and I can’t keep an eye on him twenty-four seven.
Crew’s shoulders stiffen, and for a moment, I think he’s going to snap like he would have in the past. Instead, he exhales sharply, a slow breath that lets me know he’s reigning himself in. I just don’t know if it’s for my sake or his own.
“Roman,” Crew starts, his voice quiet. “I’m notfuckinghigh.” The emphasis on the word feels as if he’s challenging me, daring me to doubt him just like I always do.
I’ve seen this before. I’ve seen him spiral, and I know the signs. He’s already halfway down that road, and no matter how much he fights it, he won’t stay clean for more than a week. He never does.
We don’t have time for this, though, and I can’t afford to keep babysitting him. I’ve been picking up the pieces since we got the news she was dead, and I’m done. If I let him continue to get too deep into whatever this is—whether it’s the drugs or the anger at losing her, it’s going to drag all of us down. And we can’t afford distractions.
“I know you’re not right now, but it’s only a matter of time. You’ve been slipping, and I don’t have time for you to fall apart. We’ve got bigger problems than you getting high.”
The silence stretches between us, and like always, Elijah says nothing, standing a few feet away with his arms crossed, watching us. He’s still lost in his anger and guilt, blaming us for pushing her away. Or maybe he’s just given up on trying to talk. Either way, it’s like his presence is just a shadow now.
Crew doesn’t say anything straight away, eyeing us both as if we’re going to pounce on him if he does. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, eyes unfocused. “Yeah. Whatever. I’ll keep it together.” But there’s something hollow in his voice, and I know he’s only agreeing to avoid an argument that we seem to have so often.
I don’t know how much longer I can keep this up. I don’t know how long I can keep pretending that everything is okay and that we are all fine when we are anything but.
But I can’t fall apart; I don’t have the option to—not yet, not when we’re so close.
Seven days.
I need Crew to stay in line. I need Elijah to start acting like family again instead of drifting away. Then again, maybe his new wife has something to do with it. I need to make sure the deal with Pacheco goes through so I can get out of my father’s shadow and do what needs to be done.
