Page 29 of Bound By Threads
Crew
Iwake up drenched in sweat, my pillow soaked with tears.
I dreamt of her again, like I have every night since we were told she was gone. In my dreams, she’s angry—at me, at her parents, and the world for failing her.
We failed her, and now she’s gone.
Seven hundred and forty-nine days have passed, but it still feels like yesterday. That ache in my chest? It doesn’t fade. Every time I wake up, I feel it… the hollow emptiness that is now my reality in a world without Scarlett.
The pain becomes too much, just like it always does when I wake up and think of her. The brief moment where she is still alive until it all comes crashing down on me again, that she really is gone. My chest aches in that familiar way that makes me want to hide from it all under the haze of smoke that numbs my brain from thinking about her, but Roman will kill me if he finds me high again.
Especially today.
Roman’s voice cuts through the fog. “Get up. We have work to do.”
I glance at him, the way he’s leaning against my doorframe, watching me to see if I’m high again. I’m not… well, not yet.
I can barely move, but I do. I drag myself out of bed, feeling like my bones are made of lead. I consider crawling back into bed, hiding from the world, from everything, but Roman won’t let me.
Roman’s dadis already in the kitchen, looking like he’s been up for hours. “What are you boys doing today?”
“Heading to Elijah’s,” Roman mutters, barely sparing him a glance as he grabs the snake’s food from the fridge.
“Tell him to swing by when you can. We need to talk about business.”
“What business?” Roman asks, his interest piqued.
“The new club he’s opening. You don’t need to know any more than that.” His dad’s tone is casual, but there’s an edge of seriousness in it. There’s something in his eyes today that I can’t quite place as he looks at us, and I tense, worried he knows I’ve dipped into the productagain.
I excuse myself to the bathroom to splash cold water on my face, needing the sting to wake me up, or maybe it’s to sober me up before I fuck up all of Roman’s plans.
I’ve been spiraling since Elijah told us she was gone, and it seems like the fate I was always too intent on avoiding has finally come true, as I feel my hands shake with the need to take more. Always more, always another final hit of something to numb the pain with the promise that I’ll stop tomorrow, but I’m just not strong enough.
When I walk back into the room, Roman’s already got the keys in hand. The car’s parked outside, engine running.
“You good?” Roman asks, an edge to his tone that tells me he’s not in the mood for my shit today.
I nod, even though I’m anything but. But I can’t show any weakness today. We’ve got a deal to close, and we can’t afford mistakes. It’s just the two of us. Elijah’s out, spending his Thursday with his wife. I don’t know who she is, and I don’t care. All I know is that he’s been pulling back more lately, not telling us where he is as he builds his empire away from his dad’s legacy, even though Roman’s dad owns his ass as much as ours.
Me? I’m in debt to him more than any of us. He took me in when I had no one when my parents died from a drug overdose from the wrong batch, and he’s looked after me ever since. When he caught me stealing some of the product, he didn’t deal with me like he should have. He excused it on the account that I would work for him and sell it for him in the colleges where he put me as a student.
So I owe him everything.
The driveto the warehouse is quiet, but my mind is a mess. My chest feels tight, my breath shallow. The past never lets me go, and the ache to take the drugs and feel numb is nearly too much. I keep seeing her in my mind—her face, her voice before she stopped talking to us, her anger as we tormented her because we were told to. It’s like she’s haunting me, and I don’t want to stop it.
If this is my eternal torture for driving her to the bottom of the ocean, then I’ll welcome it.I deserve it.
When we reach the warehouse, the air shifts. The place is always grim, but today, it feels suffocating. It is all steel and shadows, the kind of place where only bad deals are made and where we make people disappear.
Roman leads the way, his pace steady and purposeful. I stay close, lagging for a moment, staring at the crates stacked high in the corner.
Weapons, deals, power.
Everything we’re tangled in. It’s all I’ve known for years now, as Roman tries to build something away from his dad to try to take him down.
“Stop looking like you’re about to crack,” Roman’s voice cuts through my haze, his words like ice, just like it has been since she left. “We’re here to do business, Crew, and I don’t need someone who doesn’t care about anything but drugs at my back. You’re my brother, so fucking act like it.”
I force myself to snap out of it, knowing he’s right. I can’t fall apart, not now, even as every fiber of my being is begging me to smoke the drugs to numb the feelings I can feel creeping up.
