Page 19 of Scent of Sanctuary
Shedoesn’t.
It’s just past two pm, Victoria sitting in front of me after getting the basics out of the way. I told her I was doing fine and that I was ready to start the sedation process so that I could sleep comfortably through my heat. And now she’s telling me that it isn’t an option.
She reaches forward to place the back of her hand on my forehead before sitting back. “You’re a little feverish which isn’t unusual for your preheat. Tell me the truth, Seraphina. How are youreally?”
I shift in my corner of the couch before pulling my knees up to my chest. “I had a spike yesterday, and it was… violent. The pills didn’t help take the edge off at all.”
Victoria’s smile softens, her eyes gentle but searching for something. What it is, I can’t be sure. “Oh, sweetie, the pills help lessen pre-heat symptoms and dull the intensity, but they’re not gonna block the heat itself. That’s what the sedation’s always been for, to get you through the peak.”
A small whimper escapes me. “Can we do the sedation sooner, then?” I ask, my voice barely above a whisper. She already told me no but I’m hoping that’s just a medical suggestion.
She tilts her head, observing me curl further into myself. “Why don’t you have an Alpha help you? Would I be wrong in assuming you’ve got one or two? I can lightly scent them in here, even with the descenter, and it’d be a much better avenue than sedation.”
“I don’t want to get hurt. This is the safest way. Are you sure you can’t just do it like last time?”
Victoria’s face softens further, her hand hovering like she wants to touch me but doesn’t. “I can’t imagine what you went through during your first heat and I understand your need for sedation. Even your brother knew it would help you and we both thought you’d eventually come to terms with it in some way. But sedation was never meant to be a long-term solution, Seraphina.”
A small whimper escapes me again, my eyes stinging as tears gather in the corners. “It needs to be. It’s the only way I feel safe.”
“Your body’s already started rejecting the dosages. The sedation’s not working as well, and pushing more could hurt you, mess with your cycles, even your health.”
I freeze, my breath catching in my throat. “I don’t know what to do,” I whisper, my eyes falling to the floor, the weight of her words sinking in. “I want them but I’m scared. What if I can’t handle it? What if I push them away? What if… what if they can’t control themselves?” A tear escapes as I swallow back a sob, trying to mesh what my heart wants with the reality thatthey won’t hurt me. They aren’t them.
“It’s too dangerous to go any higher,” Victoria says, her voice softer than usual. “Medically, you need to let this heat play out. Otherwise, it could cause permanent damage.”
“What?”
“There could be chronic fatigue, aches and pains,” she says, “and it might diminish your ability to have children, if that’s something you want in the future.”
Children. I’ve never let myself think that far. The thought of a future with a family feels like a dream I don’t deserve, not when I’m too scared to trust or even leave the confines of my apartment.
“I’m sorry. This isn’t what you wanted to hear. We can look into options after this heat, but I can’t safely put you on another sedative now.”
For several moments, I just sit there in a state of shock and confusion before one word tumbles from my lips. “Fuck.”
“Seraphina, I can’t imagine how terrifying this is but think about it. I can prescribe a few things to lessen some of the effects, but the biological response is natural. Your body’s trying to overcompensate, which is probably why yesterday’s spike was so violent. You’re going to need help, Seraphina.”
I sag deeper into the couch, my tears soaking my sleeves as I run my arms across my face.
“I can recommend centers I trust to send over an Alpha. They vet each and every one of their employees. Or you can ask someone you know. Whatever you decide is entirely up to you but going it alone will be the worst option.” She stands, leaving a small bottle on the table. “I’m leaving you with a medication that should help lessen the symptoms. We can work toward prescribing something else after your heat. Your blood tests came back normal, so you’re healthy, physically.”
“So… I just… I don’t know how to have a heat. I’ve never gone through one.” My first heat was a disaster, curled up in a ball of pain while the tears and slick flowed freely. I’ve been sedated ever since. I’ve never actually gone through a heat with the purpose of experiencing it.
Victoria offers me a warm smile, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seraphina, I can’t tell you what to do because I’m not an Omega and I don’t have one. I can only tell you what I’ve seen and learned over the years. There’s not much to stop a heat once it’s started. I don’t want to prescribe anything extra now that you’re in pre-heat. Lots of fluids, rest, and you’ll be more comfortable if the house is cooler. If there’s anything you need, just reach out, okay?”
I nod, watching her leave. When the front door shuts behind her, I wander into my nest, dragging my blanket behind me. Even beneath the covers, snuggled up to my pillows, it isn’t enough to dull the ache in my chest or rid of the heat in my belly.
Seraphina
Iwakeupclammyas shit, my skin slick with sweat, my body burning under the blanket I pulled over myself. My panties are soaked, slick pooling between my thighs, my mind a mess of chaos. I sit up a little, trying to figure out what time it is when a sharp cramp rips through me, making me cry out. It’s a raw, desperate sound, a needy plea for the one thing I don’t have here.
My insides twist as more slick floods my panties, drenching my leggings, and sliding down my inner thighs in a warm, humiliating rush. This isn’t like my last preheat, not the subtle drugged haze I’ve hidden in since that first one. This is so much more violent, a need so fierce spreading through me it’s tearing me apart. I’ve never been this needy, never felt this out of control and it’s so painful.
My fingers curl into the blankets as another cramp hits, a soft sob tearing from my throat. I climb onto my hands and knees, my Omega taking over. I push my ass up, presenting myself for an imaginary Alpha, my body begging for someone to come fuck me, fill me,knot me.
I wiggle my ass as heat bleeds through me, the sudden temperature making me claw at my clothes, growling as I tear them off of me. My hips continue to rock, searching for relief that won’t come, even as the cool air hits the back of my slick-soaked thighs. I fumble for my phone, another cramp tearing through me, just as the screen glows. 5:03 PM. I haven’t slept long, maybe a few hours since I curled up after Victoria’s visit, but my insides are revolting.
Think, Seraphina. Think!
