Page 28 of Love is Blind
It happens first thing in the morning.
The images vivid.
Any time I see a child. Boy or girl, it doesn’t make a difference.
When I lay my head down at night.
Every day.
All day.
I’m haunted by the loss.
“When I woke up and they told me she died, I tried to kill myself, Reed,” she chokes, mascara streaking her cheeks as the tears fall freely now.
“Yeah, well that makes two of us.”
When I found Abigail, I didn’t know what to do. I knew she was dead, that there was no hope, but I still handed the paramedics my cold baby and begged them to bring her back to life. There was nothing they could do for her but seeing as they are in the business of saving lives, they gave Bianca a dose of Narcan and took her away on a stretcher.
In my grief-stricken mind, I couldn’t understand why they saved her. How could they look at my daughter and save the woman responsible for her death? More than that, I couldn’t wrap my head around the cops declaring Abigail’s death an accident. Nothing made sense to me and as the days went on, I started to blame myself.
Maverick taught me that a man’s greatest treasure is his wife, but he also showed me a man’s biggest blessing is his children. I didn’t find treasure, but I sure was blessed. A man should take care of his blessings.
Cherish them.
Protect them.
But my little girl never found safety in her daddy’s arms and that realization had me sitting on my front porch night after night with a loaded gun in my mouth. I give Holly most of the credit for why I’m still here, but I think part of why I didn’t pull the trigger is because deep down it felt like I would be taking the easy way out. I don’t deserve to be at peace.
Peace.
Suddenly Birdie’s face flashes before my eyes and regret swarms my veins. I left her in my bed, naked, with no explanation. I can only imagine what kind of conclusions she’s drawing for herself. Worse than that, I left her with no means to get around because her cane is on top of my dresser and I never gave her a chance to familiarize herself with my room. And for what? To duke it out with this bitch and relive a nightmare I never got over?
I shake my head.
Serves me right for foolishly thinking I’m capable of taking care of anyone.
Truth isI’m no better than Bianca.
I’m just as selfish and just as fucking cruel.
“I didn’t come here to cause you more pain, I swear,” Bianca resigns. “I just want to make amends.”
My lip curls at the notion. Forget audacity, the woman has brass fucking balls. A person can’t forgive what they can’t forget. They can’t forgive when their soul bleeds for revenge.
“I wouldn’t let you make amends with my dick. Not if you were the last bitch on this godforsaken Earth.”
She doesn’t get a chance to respond to that because the door opens behind me. Maverick and Holly’s laughter fills the room for about a nanosecond until their eyes land on Bianca.
“Fuck,” Maverick grunts. “What the hell is she doing here?” His gaze cuts to his brother. “You responsible for this?”
Before the two of them can get into it, I bring my eyes to Maverick.
“She was just leaving.”
I don’t give Bianca another glance as I turn my back to her and brace both hands on the edge of the wooden bar. Hanging my head, I close my eyes and listen for her footsteps, but the sound never comes.
“You heard him,” Holly says. “If you need help finding the door, I’ll be happy to show it to you.”
