Page 633 of The Tempted
Chapter Thirty-five
There comes a time in life when you’ve tried all you can and have no choice but to look up to a higher power to guide you. It’s usually when you’ve made a couple of wrong turns and you’ve lost your way. You have no idea where the fuck you are and don’t know where to go from here and instead of winging it you look for signs.
I didn’t have to look too hard for my sign. It came right after I made the phone call to Lacey and she didn’t pick up. Her sweet voice filled my ears, my soul and the emptiness inside of me since I pushed her away. I contemplated hanging up and not leaving a message at all but I couldn’t do it. I physically couldn’t do it anymore.
I folded.
The dealer had one card left, and it wasn’t a queen.
I had already passed that one up.
I left the message and now I’m left regretting I didn’t put it all out there for her. I told her I missed her and that I wanted her to hang in there but I should’ve told her I loved her. I should’ve told her I made a mistake and I’ll spend every day regretting the one day when I pushed her away. It was foolish, so fucking foolish. I have never doubted my ability to protect her, not once, not since I vowed to Jack I’d do whatever it takes to make sure she was always okay. I gave my brother, peace of mind when they closed the cell doors on his ass, I gave him my word I’d always put her before me.
When my truck blew up, and we had to put the club on lockdown I volunteered to grab Lacey because I trusted myself with her life more than I trusted Jack.
That’s a fact.
It’s funny what you realize when all you have is three walls and prison bars to stare at all day…your mind is constantly working.
I could’ve taken care of Boots. I could’ve put that motherfucker to sleep and avoided all this shit but, I didn’t think. I was too wrapped up in the consequences, worried about the club and all the drama we already had brewing with the Chinese.
For the first time in my life I had something I was scared of losing. Never felt that way before. Not even with Christine. It fucked me up, and I lost my way.
I fucked up the rewrite.
“Let’s go Petra,” the C.O. called, jingling his keys against the metal bars.
I lifted my head off my cot and looked over at him as he unlocked my cell.
“Let’s go where?”
“Visitor,” he muttered. “Well come on, I don’t have all day,” he hissed. I threw my legs over the side of the bed and rose to my feet. No one’s come up to see me since Jack visited two weeks ago. I at least expected a visit from Pipe or Wolf if not to keep me in the loop with the club than to rip me a new asshole for my affair with Lacey. I’m sure Jack’s spreading that shit like wild fire, as he plots my demise.
I don’t want to believe that he’ll leave me here to rot. I want to think that despite everything he remembers we’re brothers by choice, and I’ve always had his back and always will. I didn’t plan on falling in love with his daughter. I didn’t plan ahead and he of all people knew that. He’s the one who has pleaded with me frequently to find my heart and live again.
Careful what you wish for Bulldog.
Shouldn’t have given me her life.
He made her mine without even realizing it.
He put her in front of me and asked me to live again.
I listened to him, opened my eyes and there she was.
An angel tempting the devil.
I was buzzed into the visitor’s room and scanned the perimeter searching for the reaper and whoever was wearing it. I glanced over my shoulder at the C.O.
“I see no one I know,” I told him, turning around. He placed hand on my chest and tipped his chin over my shoulder.
“Look again,” he ordered.
I turned around and this time when I searched the room I didn’t look for leather and mayhem, I searched until I found my queen.
Eyes dark as the night met mine.
All the noise faded.
