Page 207 of The Tempted
“Yes, amongst other things.”
“Care to elaborate?”
“I don’t feel like a freak. I know I hide from myself, from the world, but somehow, he sees right through that. I feel like he sees me, who I was before the fire. It sounds ridiculous but the moment I wrapped my arms around him and held on tight, I felt alive. I didn’t remember what it was like to enjoy something until the moment he revved his engine. He took me away from the darkness, no questions asked, and brought me back to life,” I whispered. “He calls me Sunshine,” I said, my words more of a realization than a declaration. “Ironic isn’t it? Since he’s the one who brought light into my life, even if it was just for a short while.”
“Sounds like there is a connection between the two of you,” she said softly. “Maybe he sees something in you he can relate to.”
“Maybe, but it doesn’t matter. He hates me,” I said, leaning back against the sofa, my shoulders slumped in defeat. I was up half the night kicking myself for being so rude to Jack. I had no business insulting the man who helped me. But he was going to kiss me and I had to stop it. I had to stop it because I wanted it too. Jack not only breathed life into me with a ride on his motorcycle but with his mere existence. He made me feel things. With his touch, he jumpstarted those feelings I thought had died. He made me question if I could live again, really live and not just exist. I had forgotten every sensation, completely consumed by the numbness inside of me, until last night. And that scared me more than anything.
“Why do you say that?”
“I pushed him away. I insulted him and asked him to leave,” I cringed.
“And why did you do that?”
“Because I was scared if I didn’t push him away, I’d let him in. He has the power to unravel me, all of me, my secrets, my scars, my sorrows, everything with just one look,” I admitted.
“I don’t think that would be such a horrible thing,” she expressed, her eyes traveling the length of me as she looked at me thoughtfully for a moment. “It’s a nice change, Reina. Real refreshing to see,” she said, with a smile. “I think you owe the man an apology.”
I remained silent, leaving out how the napkin he had given me with his contact information felt as if it was burning a hole in my pocket.
My time was up so I shrugged my jacket on and thought about apologizing to Jack. I was never one for apologies, always tasted bitter in my mouth, but Jack deserved an apology. The thing was, after the way he left my apartment I wasn’t sure he’d even want to hear me say the words that always seemed to choke me up.
After I left Dr. Spiegel’s office I wandered around the city for a while. Today was my day off and for the first time in a long time, I didn’t want to stay in my apartment. I bought myself an overpriced cup of coffee and walked around aimlessly. I forgot how colorful New York was, how entertaining it was to just watch people live their lives. The hustle and bustle of the city, the constant rush—I missed it.
I stopped in front of a bakery, watching as a worker filled the display window with freshly baked goods, and then it came to me.
Cherry Pie.
