Page 77 of Summer Haze & Tokyo Craze
I hate this.
Finally, I’ve found someone who makes me feel whole, someone who accepts my quips. Someone I have amazing chemistry with, in bed and out of it.
It was just my luck that it had to end before it even had the chance to start. Maybe I'm romanticizing it, maybe she short-circuited my whole brain into imagining a future with her that is so far from reality that I might as well just keep dreaming about it.
But I want to believe it's real.
I want to believe I could make her happy, and I want to believe that she could make me happy.
Maybe Jackson was right and I do need someone to challenge me. Someone who's not afraid to speak her mind just because I'm important at work.
Fuck. There must be a way to make this work without jeopardizing her career.
The thought of retirement crosses my mind for a moment but I instantly shut it down. No. That’s the one thing I can’t do.
When I look up, my eyes are instantly drawn to the picture of our parents I keep in my living room. Dad took it on the day they took me to the beach for the first time. Him setting up the camera, then running over to make it into the picture frame is one of my earliest memories. It might be slightly blurry and over the years it has gotten some creases before I finally framed it – but what matters the most is still there.
Love.
It’s written all over our faces and God fucking damnit if I can never feel that happiness again. But not at the expense ofleaving the company, not at the detriment of letting go of that one thing that still connects me to them.
There must be a way.
She seemed bummed at the airport when we said our goodbyes. I might have even caught her eyes welling up with tears before she turned around to climb into her own taxi. Could she have changed her mind?
I exhale a deep sigh and start pacing my living room, pinching the bridge of my nose as I try to come up with a plan.
Maybe it’s not about convincing her to take a risk.
Maybe it’s about convincing her that I am worth it.
"You're back!" Barbara greets me happily when I walk into my office on Monday. As usual, her dark red hair is in a strict bun and she’s wearing her signature black blouse and pants. Like a shadow, even though her personality is anything but.
I intended to spend my Sunday preparing work for Monday, snooping and getting some gears into motion. But turns out, if you’re dealing with jetlag and time difference, not only can you sleep half a day away, but you can also still be so sluggish you’re barely able to form a proper thought. All I could do was lounge on my couch and pretend to watch tv and ignore my phone.
"Sure am," I greet her warmly, and she opens her arms for a hug that I gladly step into and return.
At this point, we’ve worked together so many years that our relationship is way past professional boundaries. She's basically family now. The sweet aunt that always has an encouraging word left for you.
She was my rock when everything with the company transition to me went down. Whenever I had trouble with my brothers, she had an open ear for me, and as a mother of three, she had some great tips to make my life at home work.
"How was Japan?"
I tell her about the conference as we walk to the kitchen because I definitely need a coffee to make it through the day.
What I'm not prepared for is the scent of freshly ground coffee getting me into my feels. But I square my shoulders and muscle through it.
"So yeah, anyways, it was great," I end my tales, then I rummage through my bag. "I got you a little souvenir."
"Oh, you didn’t have to," she says, not meaning a word of it as her eyes start to sparkle with curiosity. She loves presents, so I always make sure to get her a little something when I’m away. "What is it?"
"It's a fan," I tell her, smiling when I finally find it and hand it to her. “Here you go.”
"Oh, it’s beautiful." She opens it, revealing a very nice cherry blossom pattern. "Oh my. Thank you, Adam."
"Of course," I tell her and take a sip of my coffee as we walk back to my office. "So, did anything exciting happen while I was gone?"
"Well, we've got a few nominations for – I forgot which awards announced them last week," she says and taps her lip as she continues to think. “Well, can’t be too important then. It was nothing groundbreaking but some of our newcomers are in there.”
