Page 92 of Redeeming the Villain
I shake my head. “Not really.”
“I get it, man.” He pauses, a similar sadness skating across his features as his mind drifts away for a moment. “Are you staying here today then?”
“Yeah. Let me know if I need to do anything for class, please.”
He nods. “Will do. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to make today easier for you.”
I force a smile his way, and he closes the door on his way out.
I don’t know if today is supposed to be easy. If it’s not painful, does that mean I love my brother less?
It sure feels that way.
I walk over to the fireplace, and my gaze travels over the black-framed bugs.
Alora flashes in my mind.Bug.
I remember when I gave her that nickname and the meaning I told her. One I created to inflict as much damage as possible. But I don’t use it like that anymore. To be honest, I haven’t for a long time.
When my life became complete chaos after Micah was killed, Alora became one of the only constants. A revolving focal point in my life. She was always there, whether she was aware I was watching or not.
For so long, I fought my feelings for her, but they’ve been there since day one. I just hid them so deep beneath the anger that I couldn’t see them clearly.
I mean, what was I supposed to do? Fall for the daughter of the man responsible for my brother’s death? I couldn’t.
Because every day that she came into that school, showing up in her fancy car and wanting for nothing, I knew the blood that existed on every dollar of her wealth.
She was an oasis that I punished myself for wanting to drink from. It would have been the utmost betrayal to Micah, even if he wouldn’t see it that way.
There’s still a part of me that feels guilty for letting her get close to me at all.
But the more I sink into her mind, the more I think she’s in the dark about everything her father has done. She’s not greedy or snotty like I gaslighted myself to believe.
However, it’s not like her dad is completely out of the picture. Especially after he pulled me aside when he was here on campus. The audacity he had to say my name. To say Micah’s. It took everything in me not to beat him into the ground until his blood stained the stones.
I know Alora might not be close with her father, but he’s still her dad. I can’t change that. I worry that when she discovers the truth, she’ll take his side.
I feel like I’m walking on a tightrope, teetering back and forth between pulling her closer to me and shoving her away.
Turning on the TV that’s mounted above the fireplace, I put on Micah’s favorite Transformers movie. I wonder if he’d still love it as much now. Would he laugh at the same parts?
I lie back in bed, looking up and watching the movie. Today is about honoring him. I’m going to make his favorite sandwich later for lunch and pick up a small, personal-sized chocolate cake.
My stare locks on the screen as images flash from the movie, but my eyes don’t focus; they just stay in place as I cower inside of my mind.
* * *
After eating a hot ham and cheese, I grab my keys and wallet to head to the grocery store. I know Mrs. Potts would have been more than happy to get the cake for me when she did her grocery shopping for the house. But it would have felt wrong.
She’s not part of my story; she’s part of Blair and Griffin’s. This is something I have to do for myself.
Walking out of the front door, I find Blair, Lumi, and Alora walking up the steps.
Shit.
This isexactlywhat I was trying to avoid today. But I haven’t exactly told Griffinallthe details regarding Alora’s dad and his involvement. Just that he played a role in that night.
But I know he hasn’t shared any of that with Blair out of respect for my privacy, so she would have no reason to not invite her over.
