Page 35 of Redeeming the Villain
“It’s okay. Malik was right about one thing: parties aren’t really my thing.”
I think those might be my favorite words I’ve ever heard her say. That I was right about something.
“Probably the only thing he’s ever been right about.”
The guys collectively gasp and burst out laughing at the second part of her comment. My jaw tics at her audacity.
What is she hoping to gain from this?
Is she just trying to provoke me?
Because it’s working.
Leaning back in my chair, I lift my arm and rest it around Asher’s seat as my stare drops down to her doe eyes—bright blue and wide with curiosity.
And absolutely stunning.
A flashback of them welling up with tears appears in my mind, and I can’t help but think of how beautiful she looks when she cries.
She holds my stare without saying a word, and I feel everyone looking her way, waiting for one of us to make a move.
But I’m not ready to have this conversation with all my friends, so I avert my gaze, looking straight ahead to where the professor is unloading his bag.
Asher mumbles something inaudible, and I glare at him from the corner of my eye.
I can feel Alora’s gaze still burning into me, but after another moment, she faces forward.
Griffin glances at me a few times, and I’m guessing he’s wondering if I’ll share any of this with him. But I remain silent, waiting for the class to begin.
And I remain silent for the next fifty minutes, until we’re dismissed.
The moment our professor signals us, I grab my bag and book it out of the room, hopping over Asher’s and Dean’s outstretched legs.
My chest feels tight, and my lungs are struggling for air. Something I desperately don’t need right before a game … another panic attack.
I need to get away fromher.
A few of the guys call my name to get me to stop, but I ignore them and continue on until I’m out of the building and in the nice fresh air.
I stop only for a moment to catch my breath before I cross campus to my car and seal myself inside.
What is she doing to me?
She’s ruiningeverything.
Eventually, my heart calms down, and I know I’m safe from spiraling.
I should probably go home and suit up for tonight’s game, but there are still a few hours before I need to change.
So, instead, I head in the opposite direction of Griffin’s house, to a lookout with a walkway over the coast, where the waves lap against the rocks on the shore.
I haven’t been there in a few months. I haven’t really needed it. But I need it now more than ever because I feel like the seams that are holding me together are drastically deteriorating, and I’m scared what will happen when I fully fall apart.
My isolated safe space. The place where I go to clear my mind and think. Micah’s always wanted to go to the ocean, so listening to the waves makes me feel closer to him. It makes me feel grounded.
Which is exactly what I need right now.
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