Page 263 of Finding Us
“Get you out of this dress.” He reaches around and unzips it.
“And then what?”
“Get out of the dress and I’ll show you.”
And that’s how I end my birthday.
CHAPTERSIXTY
GARRET
This weekend’s been great. On Saturday morning Sean called and asked if I needed help preparing the food. I didn’t need help, but I know Sean, and I knew he was asking if he could take over the cooking. He feels most comfortable when he’s in the kitchen. He’s one of those people who can’t sit and relax for very long. He likes to stay busy. So I agreed to let him help and we went to the grocery store and got some meat to put on the grill. Then he got some stuff for side dishes and I loaded up the cart with chips and other snack foods.
Around noon, everyone came over and just hung out on the deck or on the beach. It was exactly what Jade wanted. Just a relaxing day with friends and family.
It’s been great having Harper and Sean here. They were at our place until 2:30 this morning. It really sucks having them so far away. Jade still hasn’t made any friends here, other than Sara, but they’re not close friends. Jade and Harper talk on the phone a lot but it would still be good if Jade had a few more friends. I could use some more, too.
Today everyone arrived at 9 so Jade and I didn’t get much sleep, but that’s okay. We want to have plenty of time with everyone before they leave.
After lunch, as I’m cleaning up the kitchen, Frank comes in to get some water. Everyone else is outside, so I decide to ask him about Jade. I need to know what happened to her Friday night. When I ask him, it turns out he was wanting to talk to me about it as well.
“Jade struggles this time of year,” he says.
“I know she does, but she doesn’t like to talk about it.”
Frank nods. “It was traumatic for her to find her mother that way. And yet after it happened, she pretended like everything was fine. She went to school the next day, moved her things to my house, and that was it. She didn’t even cry at the funeral. The funeral was the day after her birthday. I wanted to wait but she wouldn’t let me. She just wanted it over with.”
“Maybe I pushed her too much with this party. I just wanted her to have a real birthday this year.
“I’m glad you did this for her, Garret. The party was difficult for her, but she needed it. And I’m glad you invited people to stay for the weekend. It’s good for her to be around friends and family, especially this time of year.”
“Why was she crying at the party? I haven’t asked her about it and she hasn’t said anything to me.”
Frank sighs. “She couldn’t accept the fact that all those people showed up just for her. It didn’t make sense to her. I’m sure you learned when you were dating her that Jade has trouble accepting love from people. She doesn’t think she deserves it. That’s why I was so surprised when she let you into her life the way she did. I knew you two were meant for each other when I saw how good you were with her. You really changed her, Garret. I don’t know how you did it.”
“It wasn’t easy. But I love her. I couldn’t give up on her. I never will.”
“All the years Jade lived with me, I could never get her to let her guard down. She refused to accept how much I cared for her. I treated her like a daughter but she acted like she was just a houseguest. I remember one day she was making dinner for Ryan and me and she dropped a plate and broke it. She said she was sorry over and over again, then ran to her room and began packing. She thought I’d kick her out of the house for that. As much as I tried to reassure her that would never happen, she didn’t believe me. That’s why she tried to be perfect all the time. She got perfect grades. She didn’t go out. She didn’t date much.”
“Because she thought you’d kick her out?”
“Yes. She was scared to death of that. Her mother used to get mad at her for every little thing and threaten to kick Jade out of the house. And when Jade was younger, her mother would threaten to leave if Jade made her mad. So now she’s afraid people will leave her if she upsets them in any way. On Friday when she told us she wasn’t going to med school, she was so nervous. She thought Ryan and I would reject her for that. It’s completely irrational but that’s how she thinks. So anyway, going back to the party the other night, she just had to remind herself that people actually do care about her.”
“That’s what I figured was going on. I just wasn’t sure. I don’t always know what to do for her.”
“Just keep doing what you’re doing. Jade’s finally happy and I credit a lot of that to you. You’re able to get through to her in a way nobody else can.”
“It doesn’t feel like it sometimes.”
“Just give her time. You’re very patient with her, which is exactly what she needs. Someone who’s patient and won’t give up on her.”
“I won’t give up. I’m in this for the long haul.”
“You better be. You married her.” He smiles. “I’ll see you out there.”
Frank goes back outside and I finish up cleaning.
That short conversation explained a lot, not just about Friday night, but about a lot of stuff, like why Jade worries so much about school and why she freaks out whenever we fight. Before today, I’ve never asked Frank about Jade, but I realize he’s the only one who really knows her history. And if I’m ever going to help her move forward, I need to know her past.
