Page 97 of Promising You
“And Ava was after that?”
“No. There was another girl. I met her when I was with my family in the Bahamas for Thanksgiving.”
“Garret! What the hell? Why were you sleeping with all these girls when you were 15?”
He finally looks at me. “Because I was 15! I wasn’t exactly thinking with my head! After the first time, I just wanted to do it again, so when opportunities came up I took them. I didn’t have much parental involvement back then. My dad and Katherine acted like I didn’t exist. They didn’t even notice when I ran off and did stuff. I didn’t have a curfew. I could basically stay out all night. My dad got stricter when I started drinking more, but that didn’t really change how I acted. I just had to be more careful so I wouldn’t get caught.”
“Is that why you never talk about high school? Because you don’t want me knowing about all the girls you were with?”
“I don’t want you judging me for stuff that happened back then. I told you I used to drink a lot. And people do stupid shit when they’re drunk. But I’m not like that anymore.”
“I know you’re not, but people keep talking about you, telling me these stories about you from high school, and I hate that they know this stuff and I don’t. I shouldn’t have to hear about it from other people, or read about it in some gossip magazine. You should tell me yourself. You know all about my past, so why won’t you tell me about yours?”
“First of all, I hardly know anything about your past. You never talk about it. And as for my own past, I’m ashamed of it, okay? And normally I wouldn’t give a shit because I really don’t care what people think of me.” Garret loosens his hold on my arms and slides his hands down around mine. “But I care whatyouthink of me. That’s why I didn’t want you to know about it.”
A sadness comes over me as I see him in front of me, wanting so desperately for me to forget about this and just move on. But I can’t and I’m not sure why. Maybe because my mind is imagining Ava and Garret together, wondering if he’s still lying to me. Wondering if there’s more he’s not telling me. Thinking about that makes my anger return, but I don’t want to yell at him so I hold it inside.
“One of those articles said you dated Ava senior year, but you told me you didn’t, so which is it?” I hear the anger in my voice. So much for hiding it.
“She’s lying.” He looks me right in the eye when he says it. “I swear to you. Ava and I did not date last year. I saw her at school, but we barely talked. She’s making up stories for the show.” He sighs. “Jade, I’m sorry. I don’t understand why she’s involving me like this. I’ll talk to my dad and see if his lawyers can get it to stop.” He glances down at my hands, which he’s still holding loosely in his. “Just don’t be mad at me.”
My body is desperate to move. I yank my hands free and push on his chest. “Let me up. I need to put a shirt on.”
Garret gets off the bed and I pull my pants on the rest of the way. He takes a long sleeve t-shirt from my dresser and tosses it to me.
“So are we okay?” he asks, keeping his distance.
“I don’t know.” I yank the shirt over my head and shove my arms in the sleeves. “I just wish you’d told me this. It only makes me wonder what else you’re not telling me.”
“Jade, I’m not purposely trying to hide things from you. I mean, yes, I hid the Ava thing, but I wasn’t doing it on purpose. It was so long ago I hardly even remember it.”
“I don’t know how you can forget the fact that you slept with someone, especially when that someone was acting as your fake girlfriend last semester.” I put my running shoes on and sit on the bed to tie them. “You should’ve told me, Garret.”
“Why? So you could get pissed at me about something that happened four years ago?” I don’t answer. “And how exactly was I supposed to tell you this?”
I get up and stand in front of him. “You just tell me. It’s not that hard.”
He raises his voice. “Are you kidding me? What the fuck? That’s not something you just bring up at dinner! Oh, by the way, you know Ava, that girl you hate so much? Yeah, I had sex with her when I was 15.” He waits for me to respond, but I keep quiet. “Seriously, Jade? That’s what you wanted to hear?”
“I can’t talk about this anymore.” I go around him to my desk.
He catches my wrist. “I’m sorry, okay? I don’t know what else to say.”
I grab my keys and walk to the door. He follows me out into the hall, looking like he doesn’t want to leave things this way. But there’s nothing more to say. I know the truth and I don’t like it. Now I just need to find a way to accept it.
“Where are you going?” he asks.
“I told you. I’m going running.” I close my door, locking it.
“It’s freezing out. You need a jacket. And some gloves.”
“I’ll be fine. I’ll see you later.” I turn to leave, then stop. “Actually, I can’t see you tonight. I’ll be with Carson. We have to work on our lab paper.”
He tenses up hearing Carson’s name, but pretends it doesn’t bother him. “Stop by my room when you’re done.”
“It’ll be too late. I’ll just see you tomorrow.” I go out the door to the outside and Garret remains behind. He’s probably confused and a little hurt, but I feel the same way so I don’t care. Let him feel that way. He deserves it after not telling me he slept with Ava.
I take off running, not sure where I’m going. I end up on the road that leads to town, which I never run on but right now I just want to get away from campus.
