Page 230 of Promising You
I look up at Garret. “Well, that really sucked. I had no idea what to say to her.”
“Nobody ever knows what to say when something like this happens.”
I rest my head on Garret’s lap and he runs his fingers gently through my hair. The tent is quiet except for the sound of an owl off in the distance. I close my eyes and imagine Arlin sailing somewhere up in the clouds. He looks happy and peaceful. It’s odd, but I never pictured my mom like that after her death. So I do it now. I see her meeting Arlin, introducing herself as my mom, and Arlin taking her sailing. It makes me feel a little bit better.
“Are you okay?” I open my eyes and see Garret gazing down at me.
“Yeah. I’m okay.”
We spend the rest of the night studying, then I fall asleep in Garret’s arms, which I haven’t done since I stayed at his house after spring break.
In the middle of the night I wake up and hear Garret talking in his sleep. He keeps saying my name and then he says, “No, don’t take her.” He says it several times, then gets quiet again but tightens his hold on me.
I don’t have to be an expert in analyzing dreams to know that he’s worried his future has already been decided and there’s no way out of this. He’s losing hope. And so am I.
CHAPTERFIFTY-FOUR
Why isit that when you’re desperate for time to slow down, it suddenly speeds up? The past week has gone by faster than any week in my entire life. Garret and I spent every night together in the tent and even snuck down there during the day. But it still wasn’t enough time with him.
Now it’s Monday and my last week at Moorhurst College—not just for the semester, but forever. I won’t be coming back here again. Garret and I already decided that when we thought this would all work out and we’d be together. Now I’m assuming we won’t be together after this week, which means that in the fall Garret will go to Yale as dictated by the plan because apparently presidents go to Ivy League colleges and Moorhurst isn’t good enough.
I’ll be going to college somewhere else. I can’t come back here. There are too many memories. Plus Yale isn’t that far from Moorhurst and Garret and I need distance between us or we both know we’d try to sneak out and see each other.
I’ve already sent out applications to other schools. I haven’t heard back yet so I don’t know where I’ll end up. And I’m not sure how I’ll afford it. Arlin always said he wanted to pay for my college, but now that he’s gone I don’t know what will happen. I’m not going to ask Grace about it, especially so soon after Arlin’s death.
Garret and his family attended Arlin’s funeral last Saturday. Garret said there were so many people at the church that some people had to stand. I probably could’ve gone and hid in the back but I’m glad I didn’t. I prefer that image I have of Arlin sailing in the clouds.
Today is the start of final exams and the physics final is my first one. As I walk to class I remember how I felt when I arrived here last September. I was so afraid I wouldn’t do well in my classes. I never would’ve guessed that the classes would be the easiest part of college.
I get to class right as the professor begins handing out the final. The answers come easily to me and I’m the first one to finish it. My brain has been really fired up this past week. I guess it was trying to occupy itself with school so it wouldn’t have to think about all the other stuff going on.
Carson turns in his final just seconds after I do and follows me out the door to the outside. “I haven’t seen you around all week. Where have you been?”
“Just hiding out studying. The dorms are too noisy. I had to get out of there.”
I’m not in the mood to talk to him but he keeps following me as I walk back to the dorm.
“Is something wrong?” He’s got his conspiracy tone going. I hope he’s not getting ready to tell me a new story about Garret’s family. He hasn’t said a word about them since Garret and I broke up, which just confirms that he was only telling me that stuff so I’d stop dating Garret. A few weeks ago Carson asked me out. He wanted to take me to dinner and a movie. As usual, he claimed it wasn’t a date but just two friends hanging out. I said no, of course, and after that, he gave up asking me out.
Knowing Carson, he’s probably still trying to find out what’s going on with Garret’s family and their company but I can’t worry about it anymore.
“Nothing’s wrong, Carson. I’m just tired from all the studying.”
“When are you done with finals?”
“Wednesday. Thursday I’m packing and Friday I’m flying home.”
“Are you leaving your stuff in storage?”
“I don’t have much stuff. Mainly clothes.”
“What about your car?”
Carson asks way too many questions. He’s a nice guy but his constant prying gets on my nerves.
“A friend of mine is going to drive it out later,” I say, hoping he won’t ask for the friend’s name. The truth is that I’m packing the car with all my stuff and a guy will come get the car a week from today and drive it to California. Before he died, Arlin hired the driver for me. It’s the guy he uses for his own cars. Apparently rich people do this all the time. They prefer to fly long distances and have their car delivered.
“Maybe we could meet up this summer,” Carson says. “I’ll be in Des Moines in July to visit my grandma.”
