Page 90 of Wicked Tricks
“After what she did to this family-”
“What?” I cut her off again, “What did she do to this family?”
Mother pursed her lips, her mind racing to find her next reason to vilify Valerie. She never kept her hatred for our way of life or the resentment of our parents a secret - that was what got her in so much trouble growing up.
Mum could never control her, and she hated that.
“She left. She hates this world, this life. She hated Dad, shehatedthis shit. Can you blame her?”
Mother stared at me wide eyed with a quivering bottom lip, and I sighed. I sat down next to her, putting my arm around her as she cried softly and leaned into my shoulder.
I hated how easily guilted I was by her.
I always fell for it. Every time.
We sat like that for a while, the waves of tears ebbing and flowing. I didn’t say anything else, scared to upset her even further - even though there was so much else I wanted to say. I missed my sister just as much as anyone else, but I knew there was nothing any of us could do or say to bring her home.
I heard more cars pulling up at the front of the house, but no one entered. Ren was probably standing guard, cautioning everyone to stay away.
Stealing a glance out the window, I resisted the urge to check my watch.
“You’re right,” she sniffled softly.
“Wait, what?” I scoffed, surprised that my mother even knew those words.
“You’re right, Tone,” she exhaled, standing and pacing while dabbing her nose delicately with a handkerchief, “I can’t blame her. And, I can’t blame you either.”
I stood and followed her, she turned around and took my hand in hers, looking up at me with warm eyes. A look that I hadn’t received from her since I became the Boss, the Don, rather than just her son.
“I do put your father on a pedestal that maybe he doesn’t deserve. I know that he wasn’t the best man, or the best father - but I loved him,” tears pricked at her eyes again as her voice grew higher and more tense.
“I know, Mum.”
“I am sorry if I made you feel like you weren’t enough,” she said.
“It’s OK,” I smiled.
“No, it’s not. You’re not your father, Toni,” she reached up and cupped my face, “that’s one of the best things about you. I just look at you, and I see him,” she choked, “I’ve been so worried about trying to keep pieces of him alive, that I’ve forgotten about you, and who you are. I’ve forgotten all of the years that I spent raising you to be a man better than he ever was.”
I nodded, looking at the floor.
“I need to trust your judgement, and I do. From now on, you have my loyalty. I will be here to support you, and your brothers and sisters. It’s not my time anymore, it’s your time,” she smiled.
“You’re doing a great job, and I’m proud of you, my boy.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. The words I didn’t know that I needed to hear, triggered the built up emotions stuck in my body.
“Now,” Mother took a deep breath, tucking her handkerchief back into her pocket and smoothing her clothes. She strode with her head held high to the mirror to fix her makeup, the vulnerability dropped, and she was back to Vera, “are you going to fix things with Rome?”
I frowned, giving her an exasperated look, “what, now you trust her?”
“I trustyou, Toni. If this girl is what you want,” she sighed, shaking her head, “I guess I have to trust that you will make the right decision.”
“What if it’s not the right decision?” I asked, twisting my hands together in frustration.
She turned to me, a slight smirk on her face, “isn’t that part of the fun?”
I smiled up at my mother. It was obvious that she still wasn’t too impressed at the idea, but I could tell that she was trying.
