Page 31 of The Cowboy's Country Charm
“What’s wrong?” Lexi, his sister, rode her horse up beside him.
She knew what was wrong, or at least she should have. He didn’t answer her, just stared ahead, his body not wanting to give the command to move.
“Still?” she asked.
It had been years. Twenty-one years, in fact. And at least five years since he’d been by the pond. He used to force himself to go there as some sort of punishment. And to talk to Hank.
She reached over from her horse, a beautiful chestnut mare with the same color coat as Lexi’s hair color, and patted his hand, which was tightly gripping the pummel. “I’m sorry. I completely forgot.”
“That’s not a luxury I have.” He would never forget. He would never let himself forget.
“What do you want to do? We could go around by the old cabin, but that would add another half hour at least. And I have someone coming to your house who I have to meet.”
She had taken to referring to their former family home as his house now that he was staying there. And with his parents’ arrival for their summer visit, he could almost believe nothing had changed. When so much had. Except the pond.
“You’re right. It will be faster this way.” He could handle it. He’d been handling it for twenty-some years now.
Lexi always had something to do and was always in a rush to do it. And she wasn’t above roping him in to do it with her, as she had that morning to help repair a fence in the far pasture on their old ranch. But since they’d started out from Cort’s place, they hadn’t had to go by the pond on their way out.
She nudged her horse to move out. He followed. The sky was a deep blue, the air was dry, the breeze warm as it ruffled the pasture grass encircling the watering hole. Against the distant backdrop of the mountain range, the bucolic setting belied its history.
As they neared the pond, he realized he couldn’t just pass without saying something. Like a prayer.
“I’m stopping,” he called out to her.
He turned the horse toward the grassy knolls that surrounded the pond. It still served the purpose of supplying water for cattle when they were in the pastures that encompassed it. But since that dreadful day, to his knowledge, no one had taken a swim in it or, heaven forbid, ice skated on it since. His sisters had used the creek instead, though they would have probably loved to use the pond on hot summer days.
He nudged the horse into a gallop, and the pounding of hooves matched the beats of his heart, until he pulled up on the banks. He heard more hoof beats behind him. He wished she hadn’t followed. He’d prefer to be alone with his thoughts.
He reined the horse to the left to trot nearer to the spot where it had happened. Where the ice had broken that fateful day. The spot wasn’t hard to find despite the grasses that waved in the slight breeze, because he’d cajoled his dad to mark it with a large boulder so he would always be able to find it.
The extra set of hoof beats had stopped. Maybe she had sense enough to leave him be.
He spotted the boulder’s craggy gray surface peeking out of the high grass. When close to it, he slid off the saddle and led the horse to the boulder, where he looked out on the calm, deep-blue water, which belied the tragedy that had occurred there.
He checked the grasses around the rock to make sure no snakes slithered in the path and then bent to one knee, the reins in his hand. He removed his hat and listened to a distant bird warble its song.
“Is that you, Hank?” He referred to the bird. His throat tightened. “It’s been a while. Wouldn’t blame you if you’ve moved on, hopefully found your place of rest. But if that’s here, I just want to say howdy. Want you to know I’ll never forget you. Or forgive myself. I’m sorry I couldn’t, didn’t, do more. Not strong enough back then. Had to run for help. I thought that was best.” Should he have stayed and tried to save Hank alone? He’d asked that question a million times, a question that would haunt him for eternity. “I’ve asked you many times to forgive me, though I’ll never forgive myself. I pray you are happy in heaven, for where else would you be. We were too young to get into anything more than a little mischief.” His mouth felt like it was stuffed with cotton, and he labored for breath. “Like skating on a pond before it was fully frozen.” He brushed at his wet eyes.
He doubted he’d ever be clear eyed when thinking of Hank.
“I’ve left the air force. Looking to do some good here at home. Maybe joining the local police. In your name, for your forgiveness, I feel it’s my duty to try and save people. Still get cut up something awful when a rescue goes sideways though.” The nightmares would come roaring back, plaguing him for weeks. Sometimes months. “That’s a legacy I’ll just have to deal with. Miss you, buddy. May God grant you peace.”
He took a deep breath, letting out a sigh as he rose. He should come back more often now that he was calling this home. Had his father sold it to developers, the pond might be part of a park and other kids would be skating on it, unaware of what had transpired there. He was grateful Cort had purchased the property, kept the pond and the rock.
He plopped his hat onto his head and mounted the horse. Only then did he look. His sister had stopped about forty yards away and was just watching. He wondered if she’d said a prayer. She’d been too young at the time to understand what had happened, and his parents had rarely brought it up except to forbid anyone from using the pond. Because of a calamity, they had said, without ever describing the calamity. As far as he knew, his sisters had obeyed. Eventually they’d learned the story, as happened in small communities, and there was no need to forbid after that.
He turned the horse around and rode past her at a walk. He didn’t say a word. Neither did she.
With his sister beside him, Rusty walked out of the new prefab equipment barn Cort had installed—to replace the weathered wooden structure that used to house the family’s ranch equipment—and looked straight at the pretty blonde leaning against her red car.
“You could have given me a heads-up,” Rusty said to his sister.
Kristy was dressed in a blue T-shirt and snug jeans that accented her curves. The breeze brushed a lock of her hair across her face, and she swept it back into place. Her eyebrows arched above the large sunglasses just as she caught sight of him.
She looked good. Better than good.
Lexi sidled up to his side. “I was afraid you’d run.” Her voice was low. “I invited her here so she could figure out what kind of bales she wants for the maze and give us a count.”
