Page 41 of Bite Me
“Yes, you keep saying that, but I don’t buy it anymore. You did it because you could. It thrilled you and made you feel powerful. Above the law, huh?” The anger rose in me. I leaned forward, hissing the next sentence. “You defrauded children’s charities, Mom. You took money from little kids with cancer, and you have the gall to tell me you did it for me.”
“You’re just as sentimental as your father.” Her face was stony, but her voice sounded strained. It used to be her go-to tactic. She played the dad card whenever I pushed her into a corner. I was over that, too.
“I’m glad he didn’t live long enough to see me sleeping on people’s couches.”
“Jesus! What’s gotten into you?”
“Nothing. I’m just done with your bullshit. We have a few more years to work on our relationship, and I think honesty is a good basis.”
The wrinkles around her mouth deepened. “Do you have any idea what it is like in here?”
“You can’t demand compassion and empathy when you’ve never shown any, Mom.”
“I think I’ve had enough for today. I’ll see you in two weeks.”
“Good. I hate to keep Sheri waiting in the parking lot.” I nodded at the warden closest to us and stood.
“What do you have a driver’s license for?”
“I can’t afford to keep a car in the city. I have loans and rent to pay.”
The reminder only made her sneer. No doubt, she was disappointed in me. She probably thought I should have sucked up to some sugar Daddy a long time ago and my financial troubles would have been solved.
“Bye, Mom. See you in two weeks.”
She didn’t reply.
Why did I ever contradict her? Hadn’t I learned anything over the years? She wouldn’t change, not even in the slightest, no matter what I said or did.
As usual, Sheri got out of the car and hugged me before we got in.
“It was rough, huh?”
“Yeah. I don’t know why I do this to myself.”
“What did she say this time?”
“The usual. Except silly me, I didn’t let it pass. I told her she took money from kids with cancer and has no empathy. Then I reminded her she ruined my life.”
Sheri whooped as she started the car. “Go, Eddie! I’m proud of you. I know it feels like shit right now, but you did the right thing.”
I really did feel like shit. “It makes no difference.”
“It does for you. What she says or does is irrelevant, but you treated yourself with respect. Andthatmatters.”
Unconvinced, I blew out a breath, watching the green fields behind the window.
“Where’s this ruthlessness coming from?” Sheri asked. “Don’t misunderstand me—she deserves it and worse. But why now?”
I shrugged. I had an inkling, but it was too raw to talk about.
My mind kept going back to Russel. I’d been playing everything by the rules, to the ridicule of my own mother. I’d never found it difficult to resist temptation when a higher principle was at stake.
But this time, the temptation was bigger than ever before, and the moral principle… I wanted something special for myself, just for me, and for the first time ever, I felt like I deserved a fucking break from all those rules I imposed on myself.
Nobody would get hurt, right?
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